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The source shows the sale of hybrid vehicles in the world from 2006 to 2009


ADIE08 29 / 32 1  
Feb 1, 2016   #1
IELTS-TAKS 1: GLOBAL HYBRID VEHICLES SALES.

The bar chart provides the source of the world sales of hybrid vehicles, based on countries and total sale from 2006 to 2009. It is apparent from the information that the US had the highest in sales of hybrid vehicles and total world sale was increased more than 2 times.

To begin, in 2006 the highest sale hybrid vehicles was the US it stood at 250,000, then in the next year, it increased gradually and reached a high 350,000. However, in 2008 total hybrid vehicles sales decreased slightly and continued to fall to below 300,000 in the end of the period.

In contrary, the sale of hybrid vehicles in Japan in 2006 stood at around 50,000. Then over the two years, it inclined slightly near to 10,000 in 2008. In addition in 2009, the total of sales in Japan rose dramatically 3 times higher than previous last year and it passed over US sale to around 325,000. Moreover, in other countries from the beginning to the end of the period, the data showed that it grew steadily.




fijarakbar25 11 / 13 2  
Feb 1, 2016   #2
Here some suggestions

It might be better if you at least provide sentences each paragraph

... and total world sale was increased INCREASED more than 2 times

To begin, in 2006 the highest sale hybrid vehicles was the US WHICH it stood at 250,000, then in the next year, it increased gradually and reached REACHING a high 350,000 IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR
wahyutri13 10 / 13  
Feb 1, 2016   #3
Hello Adie, your essay is look so good. However, it exist some grammatical error. Then, you could put enter after each paragraph for facilitating the readers.

May I give you some suggestions:

... and total world sale was increased more than 2timestwice .

In addition, in 2009, the total of sales in Japan (...) than previous last year and it passed over US's sale to around 325,000.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Feb 1, 2016   #4
Adie, while your discussion is concise and can be appreciated for its distinct length and information style, you were not able to provide the expectations of the examiner when it comes to divulging information regarding the illustrated chart that you were given to dissect and report upon.

Your opening paragraph can use more detailed information in relation to the keywords mentioned in the essay. Always remember that the overview will allow you to better discuss and direct the body of the essay. So you should not take shortcutrs when indicating the summarized information that you will be presenting. The summary serves as the guideline for the reader and the rest of the essay.

Try to lengthen the discussion that you present per paragraph in order to highlight your English comprehension skills. By writing more information or better developing your paragraphs, you will also be able to display a heightened sense of English based logic and discussion abilities. Those are important aspects of your English skills that need to be displayed in the essay.


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