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[WRITING TASK 1] Southwest Airport redevelopment

papcaii 4 / 7 1  
Oct 2, 2021   #1
The plan below shows the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Given is the map illustrating some changes will occur in Southwest Airport in the near future.
Overall, two main modifications will be made to the airport. These involve the erections of new amenities and the modernization in the transportation system.
In the present there is only one door for each in the arrivals and the departures, but this number is likely to increase twofold in the following year. In the north of the airport, the boarding hall is going to be enlarged with the addition of 10 gates as well as being converted from a rectangular layout to an Y-shaped one. The walkway is also planned to be replaced by a sky train to optimize passenger's time to arrive at their gates.

The security and the customs remain unchanged, however, the check-in to the left of the departures will be replaced to the opposite site in order to make room for a bag drop and the relocation of the café. In addition, a new shop will be built next year, but only for the security area. There are also the constructions of an ATM, a cafe and a car hire which will be accompanied with a minor expansion in the southeast of the airport.

Thanks for your advice !

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,037 4251  
Oct 7, 2021   #2
There needs to be an expanded use of punctuation marks to add clarity to the paragraphs. A properly placed comma here, a period there. Proper punctuation placement will help increase the score of this essay in at least 3 related sections.

The summary overview could have been better presented over 3 sentences in a single paragraph. There isn't enough information to warrant the seperation of the trending sentence from the overview. neither should the comparison report be spread out over 4 paragraphs. Stand -alone sentences are not useful in C + C scoring. This is only used in class to help the student learn what each sentence should represent. In actual writing the overiaw should be a combined data reference.

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