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Space exploration - is it necessary to continue this costly project?

drzee 1 / -  
Feb 25, 2019   #1

pros and cons of space exploration

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things.

Last century has proven to be a golden era in the field of space exploration. Some people say that it is necessary for better understanding of our universe, while others feel that it's sheer waste of money which should be better utilized on more important things. This essay will try to probe both pros and cons of this fascinating science.

Man, since inquisitive by nature, always wanted to know more about unknown. Invention of telescope opened all the doors to this mesmerizing world of stars and galaxies. Before this it seemed impossible to reach the stars. Another important milestone was first manned rocket reaching the Moon. New vistas were opened and many of the previous theories were proven wrong. Now scientists are readying themselves to explore Mars which is nearest planet to our Earth.

Another important aspect which should be considered is that we cannot deny the fact that a day is not far when Earth will no longer be able to cater to ever growing population. We cannot wait till that day to look for other options as this might take many decades. So logic says that it is better to search new planets where human life can sustain as we do not know how much more time we have in hand.

Some people argue that since it is very expensive venture, it should not be encouraged. They feel that this money should be utilized in giving basic facilities like food , water and shelter to everybody. They feel that it makes no sense in exploring space when people are dying from hunger and diseases. Better infrastructure should be our priority rather than spending on something which we do not know really exist.

I personally feel that it is true that basic facilities are more important than anything which can be delayed for the time being. But then that holds true for everything that does not belong to basic facilities like Art, Music, Medicine, Fashion etc. Development should be all-round. We as a society cannot develop by focusing just on basic needs. With this attitude we would not have been able to develop medicines and support art and music. The more logical and sensible approach should be to develop this technology together by sharing technical knowhow and cost of the project, not as a residents of different countries but as residents of Earth. This would definitely help us to develop ourselves as human beings.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Feb 26, 2019   #2
Hi, your writing is not bad, but I think your essay could have been a bit better organized. Your first body paragraph did not really contribute to your thesis at all. If you want to include some of this background information, it is better to put it in your introduction. You basically have one reason per paragraph, but usually it is better to have two - for instance what about all the scientific knowledge we could gather from manned space travel? Or for the cons, why not use telescopes here on earth to study the universe instead of putting human astronauts' lives at risk? Here are some specific suggestions:

[The] Last century [proved] to be ... Some people say that [continuing to venture into outer space] is necessary ... others feel that [it is a] {avoid contractions in formal essays} sheer waste

... try to probe both [the] pros and ... science.{"space exploration" is not a science, it is a means of furthering astronomy, physics, biology, and so on, all of which are sciences}

Man, since [he is] inquisitive by nature,{or, "man, inquisitive by nature. ..." } [has] always wanted to know more about [the] unknown. [The] Invention of [the] telescope opened

... Before this[,] it seemed impossible

... milestone was [the] first manned

... to explore Mars[,] which ..
... Earth ... be able to cater {"cater" sounds a little odd - Earth is not really our servant} to [its] ever growing population.

... it is better to {it is unclear whether you mean "search for new planets" or "explore new planets" } where human life can sustain {life does not sustain, we need to find "planets that can sustain human life"} as we do not know ...

... very expensive [to] venture, {this needs another phrase - "venture beyond the solar system" "venture beyond the Earth's atmosphere"} it should ... They feel ... basic facilities {"necessities" might be better} like food ... makes no sense [to explore] space when people

...rather than spending on something which we do not know really exist. {well, we know that outer space exists, along with stars and the planets in our solar system - be more specific about what you say we do not know}

... like Art, Music, Medicine, Fashion etc. {do not capitalize these and do not use abbreviations in formal essays}

... and [the] cost of the project, not as a residents of ... This would definitely ... {this last sentence sounds odd to me}
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,519 3442  
Feb 26, 2019   #3
Sheetal, it does not seem like you are writing a research paper here. It feels like you are responding to a task 2 IELTS essay. The problem is that you approached it from a more complicated perspective that borders on a research paper. For a task 2 essay, you have to use the 2-3 reasoning paragraphs to discuss the project, con, and personal point of view. Due to the missing prompt requirements, I cannot really tell if you provided all of the relevant information. It feels like the first 2 paragraphs were used as double introductions for the topic instead of as a prompt paraphrase and reasoning discussion. I believe that is why the essay doesn't really discuss the pro and con in a complete manner. In addition to that, there doesn't seem to be a properly formatted concluding summary at the end of the essay. It seems to just keep on continuing the discussion instead of ending it. A proper assessment of your content and presentation cannot be completed without the prompt requirements. Please remember to provide it next time so you can get a more detailed assessment of your work. Thanks.

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