Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


dynaranjani 27 / 24 18  
Feb 6, 2016   #1
As Earth runs out of natural resources, we have started to look to space for solutions. However, some people argue that this is wrong thing to do, and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth. To what extent do you agree with them? What alternatives might there be to exploiting space for natural resources?

humans require a faster solution than this

Natural resources in Earth seem to run out. Hence in order to maintain the status quo, people are being forced to find some alternatives. While some people believe that space offers many possible solutions to tackle this global epidemic, others are sceptical and argue that energy alternatives can also be found on Earth. And I would personally state that the latter idea is bound to be more acceptable.

It is generally believed that electricity can be used to cease human's reliance towards fossil fuels-kinds of natural resources used by most people. Apparently, this idea has already been executed by one of big American motors companies-Tesla. Martin Eberhard, a founder of Tesla Motors, explained that using electricity as the primary fuel of the electric cars produced in his company is the right solution. It is not only environmentally friendly energy, but also a sort of renewable one. Since humans are able to harness such energy from the sun, it does not need much more money to refuel their electric cars. Therefore, I believe that Earth itself contains dozens types of energy which can be used as the alternatives.

By 2010, scientists and engineers have teamed up to find other alternatives in space. Asteroid mining has become their main focus for this moment. Peter Diamandis, one of the founders of the asteroid-mining company, said that everything people hold on value on Earth, such as minerals, fuel, metals, etc. is available in solar system with literally unlimited quantity. However, this venture seems to carry great amount of money and plenty of uncertainty since space is unpredictable. For this reason, I suggest that they should concentrate on exploiting the Earth where all possibilities are much more promising.

In conclusion, although solar system provides many kinds of energy in near infinite quantities, the cost of its exploitation is relatively high and the time to execute this notion cannot be forecast. Instead, the experts should focus on finding some alternative on Earth since humans require a faster solution.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Feb 6, 2016   #2
Dynar, you managed to explain your point of view and even threw in some very important names and accomplishments in your defense. However, I know that by including that information in the essay, you actually took the time to do research on the internet and chose which information would garner you the best score, which is what you then presented in the essay. You do not have the luxury of doing research during the actual test. You will not have internet access during that period of time as the system will be locked to only the test website. This early, I would like to caution you against doing research when you do your practice tests. Instead, work on building up your common knowledge regarding popular culture and current event topics. Familiarize yourself with as many as possible and use the commonly known facts in writing your essay.

Keep in mind that this test is not about showing off your intellectual ability. Rather, it is all about proving that you can express yourself in English. While it will help if you personally know of information that can impress the reviewer, it is not a requirement. What is required, is that you present a clear understanding of the prompt and an understandable response to it.

Please take note of the dates that you present in the essay and the tense format you used to develop the paragraph. Always use past tenses when discussing any events or information before 2016. Your grammar will be graded as well. So make sure you don't lose points for using bad sentence devices.

I have also reminded you and the other test takers many times about introducing new ideas at the end of the essay. That is not the place for new information. In fact, the information you presented in the conclusion would have been the more believable and acceptable discussion facts in your essay had you not presented Tesla and other sources as part of the discussion.