Ielts Task 2 - space exploration
Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Nowadays, owing to the evolution of technology, exploring outer space has become a major scientific development. However, debates have yielded a spectrum of views. Some claim that conducting this kind of space adventure might waste lots of money and energy whereas others believe that the advantage is more and relevant. I am going to discuss both views below and give my opinion in the end.
First and foremost, the major rationale for those who disagree with the exploration of space is that this activity can cost a lot and restrain academic resources of other domains. For example, if a space trip needs to be triggered, a large amount of funding would be asked from the government which deliberately would use the tax from the public. Nevertheless, for some citizens, they consider the money be applied to deal with more serious social problems such as starvation and unemployment in the country. Furthermore, not only would people think that focusing on space adventure might waste their money, but also they would be concerned about the probable restriction of other technological areas. Instead of spending money on the unrealistic imagination of outer space, scientific research contributing to which can bring more immediate benefits to the public, such as tackling the issue of illness and environment, seems to be more urgent and practical.
On the other hand, from other people's perspective, travelling in the outer space and discover various clusters of planets are vital steps in the human world. More specifically, they see human's capability of venturing the space as an honour, exclusive from other animals. Also, they reckon that space exploration is quite pivotal and is one of the routines for escaping from deteriorating lands. Since the earth has become more and more inappropriate for humans to live, some researchers start to find if there's any possibility inhabiting in other planets.
To conclude, I believe institutions should find a balance between space trip and other research domains because it seems that this activity is effective but not the priority to human's life.@jocelyne001
Welcome back. Hope that any prior feedback that you've received has been beneficial for you. Let me provide you with input on this new essay to help you improve your writing.
Firstly, ensure that you are compliant of the fundamental requirements that are necessary when writing. This includes, for instance, keeping up with appropriate punctuation marks to have better grasp of the language. If you are able to do this, you should have a more structured and put-together written work. For example, take a glance at your first paragraph's second sentence. The word whereas often needs a comma prior to its insertion to create a pause in between. Doing small leaps such as this would go a long way.
I find that while the a great chunk of your essay (ie. the body paragraphs) was sufficient, you needed to have a better approach towards writing the concluding remarks. The concluding remarks lacks a majority of its rationale to expound on your final idea. Try to cut out portions of the second paragraph to balance and dedicate the space for here to ensure that you have a more synchronized writing.
