Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Speaking essay about FAMILY - the most important thing of your life

quangduy2110 1 / -  
Jan 12, 2019   #1
Do you know what is the most important thing of your life? I'm sure many people here may know the answer! In my opinion, I think that's our family! Family, which gives you a home, a shelter. Also it gives you a special love which nothing can compare with it. So today I'm going to introduce about my lovely family. There are 3 people in my family including: my mom, my dad and the only child of the family is me

my dad, mom, and me

DAD: He is a cornerstone of my family. He is a really handsome man with a kind eye which through it I can see his happiness. I think that his happiness come from his job . For the last 15 years he has worked as a teachers and he loves it. As a teacher he has taught me a lot of things not only about math or English but also his life lesson and what I have learnt from his lesson is: "Appreciate for what I'm having right now". So that why my dad is also my first teacher. After a hard-working day, his favorite activity is gardening which he invests a lot of his time in it and it also makes him feel better after work. After all I think my dad is very gentle and supportive man. I'm really glad to be his son. And when I grow up, I want to be just like him.

MOM: She is a beautiful woman and she also looks younger than her age. Although she works more than 8 hours a day. She must be the most hard work person that I have ever known. My mom shows her love to her family in many ways, thus my family can feel it by her actions that she took, for instance, she is always worry about my health condition and my learning process and she always be there for me when I feel depressed when I want to give up, she always encourage me to go on and never give up. My mom is also a playful. She usually tell joke while we are eating which makes me and my dad laugh all the time. But it doesn't mean that my mom is not strict otherwise she is very strict when she gets mad. My mom has inspired me a lots by her advice and help me to I grow up after that.

I think I'm changing my mind because I just remember the quote by Michael J. Fox, he has said:" Family is not an important thing. It's everything". That's totally right Family is everything it will always be there somewhere in your heart, always be there for you, help you to stand up after you fall and will be there for you wherever you are. So that why my family means the world to me and without them I would not be who I am today !
linhnguyen2002 2 / 4  
Jan 13, 2019   #2
I think you should modify your language a little bit to make it more beautiful. Some words appear too many times in your writing and you have made some grammar mistakes. I have some recommendations:

- ...with a kind eye which through ... -> I think " ... with bright eyes in which I can see the happiness ..." will be better.

- ... his happiness comes from... " but I love the whole sentence to be something like: " ...the reason for this is his job..."

- the most hard-working person
- ... her actions that she took ...-> There is no need for it
- ... is always worried
- ... usually tells jokes
They are just a few to list. But overall you have used a wide range of vocabulary and this is really impressive! Keep trying and practicing then you will make progress!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15048 4830  
Jan 13, 2019   #3
Quang, the essay lacks a proper introduction for every family member. Remember that you are introducing your parents to the listening audience. As such, you must create a lively, engaging, and imaginative introduction for your mom and dad. So don't just say "dad". Instead. Give a backgrounder. Something like; "It is said that a child grows up placing one of the parents on a pedestal. I guess that is why I grew up idolizing my dad. He is a man of ..." and for your mother, you could explain that; "All children grow up learning the social basics of friendship, trust, care, and unconditional love. These are the lessons that I learned from my mother. My mother, she is the kind of person who..." By using the descriptive topic sentences and proper transition sentences between character presentations, the essay will have a smoother flow and more interesting topics to present when getting to know your parents.

Home / Writing Feedback / Speaking essay about FAMILY - the most important thing of your life
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳