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Toefl: spend leisure time outdoors or indoors?


yecochi 4 / 5  
Apr 4, 2011   #1
Please help me refine my essay. Thanks a lo! :)

Topic:
Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

People make themselves relax by joining leisure activities, from quietly reading a book to energetically sailing a boat. In general, leisure divides into two categories, indoor and outdoor. In my opinion, although indoor activities are also fun, vigorous outdoor activities can offer a more complete recreation and renewal, which can refresh me up.

Admittedly, indoor activities are fun. There's no doubt that indoor activities like reading a book, watching TV or listening to music can bring us lots of joy. My involvement in those static activities indeed helps me release my complex emotion and relax my mind. Further, being worn out in working, I can take a rest when immersing myself in those activities.

However, being outdoor seems to allow recreation to happen more easily than being indoors do. The word recreation literally means "re-creation'; in other words, creating one's self all over again. Spending time outdoors, people can breathe fresh air, feel the warm sun on their face and enjoy the complete peace that only nature brings. My experience shows that I would feel like a new woman after accomplishing a long walk or run.

In addition, outdoor activities provide me with renewal to the body, mind and soul. This can be well exemplified with one of my favorite leisure activities, climbing mountains. The pristine natural settings bring peace and tranquility; the loneliness presents a chance for reflection and contemplation. On the summit, the sense of accomplishment on reaching the top, along with the completely physical workout and the significantly magnificent view always makes me feel alive and refreshed. I believe other outdoor activities such as deep-sea diving, hot air ballooning and windsurfing offer similar rewards though I've never tried them.

In sum, I incline to participate in outdoor activities in my spare time for those benefits discussed above. Outdoor activities provide recreation and renewal, making me ultimately refreshed. Although I can also have fun in indoor activities, this advantage cannot outweigh the attractions coming from outdoor activities. After all, people are people and we all have our own propensity. Leisure activities are one of them.

butterbescotch 6 / 41  
Apr 4, 2011   #2
It looks good enough. But I guess I would change the last two sentences it's a bit out of place.
OP yecochi 4 / 5  
Apr 4, 2011   #3
Thanks, butterbescotch
Could you give me some advice about how to change them?
angelinee827 2 / 4  
Apr 4, 2011   #4
I like your point of view, and I think your composition is quite Good!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Apr 5, 2011   #5
However, being outdoors seems to allow recreation to happen more easily than being indoors does. ---Notice the small changes I made here.

The word "recreation" literally means "re-creation'; in other words, creating one's self all over again. ----nice job!!

Spending time outdoors, people can breathe fresh air, feel the warm sun on their face and enjoy the complete peace that only nature brings. ---another great sentence!

My experience shows that I would feel like a new woman after accomplishing a long walk or run.

In sum conclusion, I am inclined to participate in ...

:-)
OP yecochi 4 / 5  
Apr 6, 2011   #6
however, being outdoors seems to allow recreation to happen more easily than being indoors does

Thank Kevin and every body.


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