Spending life time in a changing manner. IELTS Task 2

Hi good friends
there is a Task 2 IELTS writing, and I appreciate in advance your comment.
Aria

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

When it comes to the changes in life, some people like a monotone rhythm of life with the same place and people, which they see every day and years, whereas, other like a dynamic and challenging mode of living, that give them different opportunities. I found a monotone life style is boring and like most of the time to change my job, places and even hobbies. It can help in better way to get ride of a uniform of and usual life pattern and give you the chance to see and meet other place and people.

The first thing that a changeable mode of living gives you is that you leave a boring and repetitive rhythm of your daily life. It is tiring to meet the same people everyday and go to the same way to reach in your workplace, or give the same salary, either. The kind of life that you have can also influence your performance and have effect on your abilities. It is like to watch a movie times and times without adding any new pleasure or information to you.

Moreover, modifying your usual life such as changing your job or place give you the opportunity to visit more places and meet different people. Furthermore by changing your lifestyle you have a better chance to promote your material and mental states. Changing in different levels at school during our education life is a good example of changing and enjoying of our life.

In conclusion, although, some people prefer to have their life as constant as they can, I prefer to have a more dynamic and actively changeable life. it will be a chance to see different environments and challenges years and years while see more places and fabulous people, which can provide me more opportunities.

Hi Aria,
Thank you for sharing your essay.
I don't have the ability to write an essay as yours coz my writing is not good at all.
However, I hope my advice will give you a little help.
First, the typing mistake is "get ride of".
Second, aside from "boring", you also can use other words, like "humdrum".
Thank you again, Aria.

Paragraph 1

I found a monotone life style is boring and like most of the time to change my job, places and even hobbies .- I found a monotone life style boring and most of the time, I like to change my job, place and even hobbies.

It can help in better way to get ride of a uniform of and usual life pattern and give you the chance to see and meet other place and peopl e- It can help in better way, to get ride off an uniform or usual life pattern to give you a chance to see and meet other place and people.

Paragraph 2

The first thing that a changeable mode of living does to you is that you leave a boring and repetitive rhythm of your daily life.

In second sentence, are you trying to say that it's not like every day routine. If you answer is yes- perhaps, you have to make some correction. I've brought in some chances, use if you like it -It is neither like drawing the same salary nor meeting same people and driving the same road to reach at workplace everyday.

Third sentences conveys a lot. I guess you should write an example.

Overall, Firstly, I think you essay talks more about changes and reasons. Least is mentioned about the reasons why some people still following the same routine and avoiding changes. Secondly, your opinion should be a part of conclusion.

P.S- I'm a beginner and know little about essay writing so, if you think you are right please stick to it.

Regards
Neeta

Thank you Neeta
You are absolutely right. my main problem is the time limit. I have to write and revise both 2 essay in one hour and I used to write the revised draft as soon as I finishe the time. sometimes when I back and see my writing easiky observ where is my Weakness.

Anyway, thank you for your comment and effort.
Aria

I'm glad I could help.

Well, I too have same problem. Today, I attempted my task differently. I made a hierarchy layout very much similar to bullet points that I would like to write in the essay. for example- on the same level mentioned advantages and disadvantages. Then, In the next level made bullet points of advantages and in further leveling of each bullet point I wrote key words, to use to explain the idea. Later, one more leveling to remind me what example to write. On the other hand, followed the same for disadvantages. Saved a lot of my time :D

Regards
Neeta

How great! I was just thinking about this. In the past week, I traveled to visit 5 different places. I constantly change my environment, and I get very restless if I just stay in the town where I live...

Here are a few small ways to improve it... though it does not even need improvement. These are minor:
It is tiring to meet the same people every day and go to the same way to reach in your workplace, or give the same salary, either. The kind of life that you have can also influence your performance and have effect on your abilities. -----every day is 2 words when you use it this way. As one word, it is an adjective and must modify a noun. Also, I crossed out some unnecessary words in that other sentence.

Great thread! Thank you...