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TOEFL essay "Spending money on sport activities or library"


hitchhike 14 / 27  
Nov 8, 2009   #1
Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries". Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

While I was studing for the mid-term math exam, When I was preparing myself in the library for the midterm math exam, I saw the soccer players team of our department's team preparing themselves for big competition among universities; so a challenging question rose to my mind: Sholud universities should spend money equally, for both, sports activities and library equipments? , , rose in my mind.

Not surprisingly, spreading sport activities among college students is one of the responsibilities of university. Therefore, the policy of university's budgets should be considered a certain amount of money for this purpose. Prof. Qui , who is the head of a research group that studying the effect of exercises on the learning ability on UUT University, that, there is an unquestionable relation between the learning ability and sport activity. He also believes expending money for sport activities is not only useful for having healthy pupils but effective for having excellent students.

On the other hand,In addition, expanded libraries y in all fields, which needs more money, is a fundamental issue in the university. For illustration, extending the studying rooms in my university's library, of course although it was a costly project, led to attract students to study in library instead of dorm. Furthermore, having updated library with more copies of popular books is a result of spending sufficient amount of money for library.

In conclusion, I strongly believe the university must spend more money for library equipments than sport activities. Because student can contributes in either public sports or sport clubs for being healthy. And university should be a good place for focusing on learning.
Poojasugandhi 18 / 35  
Nov 8, 2009   #2
Hi,
Here are some suggestions for you.
1. toefl essay must be 300 words. your essay need to be long.
2. mention your agreetment or disagreement in the thesis para, so as let to know the reader, what the essay is about to say.
3. When I was preparing for the midterm math exam in the library. How can you see the soccer team preparation over there?? Instead mention some other thought.

4.mention your opinion in the second paragraph, not anyone else. Toefl is asking about your opinion.
5. conclusion para must include the summary of an essay.
6. For illustration instead use for instance, or example.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 9, 2009   #3
Yes, it needs about 50 more words.

Here is some help:

...among universities. A question arose in my mind: Should universities spend equal amounts of money for both sports activities and library equipment?

Therefore, the policy-makers for a university should consider allocating a certain amount of money for this purpose.

In addition, expanding the library in all fields requires more money, and this is a fundamental issue in the university. For example, extending the studying rooms in my university's library was a costly project, but it attracted students to study in library instead of dorm.


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