Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Spending too much time on video games than sports - IELTS

Brenna Vo 2 / 3 1  
May 13, 2019   #1

Time consuming Computer games

Topic: Today many students spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? is it a negative or positive development?

In this day and age, an escalating number of schoolchildren prefer spending a larger deal of time on computer-based games to wasting time on physical activities. From my perspective, there are a variety of reasons behind this trend, and it is perceived as a negative development to children's health and personality development.

There are a myriad of grounds for spend excessive amounts of time on computer-based games. One of the compelling reasons is that video games promote heroism and individualism among schoolchildren. This is because in the virtual world youngsters are much more likely to become leaders, captains, or heroes easily which appear to be more challenging and daunting to gain in the real world. As a result, they would end up with a sense of admiration and respect and reap applause from others, which spurs them to spend excessive amounts of time sitting in front of screen and immersing themselves in these video games. Another prominent root of children's spending little time on sports is that unlike sports that require a greater degree of energy and strength, playing computer-based games is less tired and energy draining. Players just sit in front of screen, eat snacks while playing, which is so comfortable and awesome.

However, I would argue that this trend has adverse effects on children's health and personality growth. Firstly, it is undeniable that sitting in front of screen for a prolonged time would contribute to some health disorders such as blurred vision, obesity, and back pain as adults. Secondly, playing too much computer-based games has a profound impact on personality development of players. Needless to say, there are a great amount of foul language and violence on video games, and children are more likely to imitate and employ these in daily lives or when feeling estranged, depressed, and isolated. Thus, it is possible that these poor behavior patterns could lead to subsequent violent acts.

In conclusion, there are numerous reasons why young children tend to spend much time on video games rather than on sports, and it is undoubtedly negative development due to at least influencing on health and personality growth.
HuongT 1 / 1  
May 13, 2019   #2
There are is a myriad of grounds for spend spending excessive amounts of time on computer-based games.
There + is + a/an Noun. for + Ving excessive amounts of time (nouns phrase) so you must use 'spending'.
'Screen' is a countable noun so you must add a/the/...

Home / Writing Feedback / Spending too much time on video games than sports - IELTS