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Task 2 Spent Money To Built Impressive Buildings Or Built School And Hospital?


Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 23, 2016   #1
Question : some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The characteristic of big cities is the skyscraper and that is the reason why there are many high buildings in the large cities. Some people think that have many tall buildings are more important than spend the money to improve public facilities. I personally agree that the money should be use for constructing school and hospital to increase the inhabitant prosperity.

These days, many buildings has been built higher than in the past because it makes the appearance of the city more glamour and attractive. The buildings not only tall but also have an impressive architecture. The architec make an amazing design because they want people who live in the building feel comfort. This condition also attract many visitors to come to see or to take a picture of the buildings.

On the other hand, many public facilities like school and hospital need a construction. Many school buildings in the city which has poor condition and makes the student feel afraid when they have to learn inside of the class. Government also need to help people who are poor by built a hospital so that they do not need to feel anxious when one of their family is sick.

It is better for government if they use the money to help people in under poverty line by constructing school and hospital. Right now, there are so many great buildings so government have to think another important thing like school and hospital not only about the image of the city.

To conclude, constructing many eloquent buildings or constructing school and hospital have the same importance but in my view it is better to prioritize school and hospital to inhabitants prosperity.

tyar32 10 / 14  
Aug 23, 2016   #2
Hi faridadwi18
I have some suggestions for you. I hope it will help to develop your writing skill.

The architect make an amazing design
... facilities like school and hospital need a constructiondevelopment
construction like main structure when the building start to built

tyar32
justivy03 - / 2,370 607  
Aug 23, 2016   #3
Hi Farida, first of all, in this essay, you don't have to create a gap or space between each and every idea to lengthen or add length to your essay, though it is suggested that you present your essay in a manner where the ideas breath and have a gap, it should not be this much space. For this essay, it can be written in a maximum of 2 or 3 paragraphs for this prompt.

Having said that, let me suggest a few corrections.

- isare the skyscraper
- and thatthis is the reason why
- there are many hightall buildings in thelargebig cities.
- Some people think that,have many tall buildings are more
- important than spending the money to improve public facilities.
- increase the inhabitanthumanitarian prosperity.

- it makes thecreates an appearance of the
- city moreand it adds glamour and attractive scene .
- The buildings are not only
- The architect makes an amazing design
- live in the building to feel comfort.
- This condition also attracts many visitors
- to come toand see or to take a picture of the buildings.

There you have it Farida, the above paragraphs can stay as 2 separate ones, however, the next 2 paragraphs can merge into 1 paragraph and then you follow through with your conclusion. Overall, the same observation when it comes to your sentence construction, I believe you have the idea in your head but you are somehow, not able to convert it or write id down in your essay. Keep writing.


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