An essay about sport (discuss both views)

Sport has an important role in society. Some people believe that it is nothing more than leisure activities.

Discuss both views and give your opinion?

More and more people are involved in sporting activities in this day and age. While being a fundamental part of the development of society, sports are still considered by some individuals as just a pastime. Although I interpret this point of view, I am of the opinion that sports also have a great influence on our health and the economy.

On the one hand, it is understandable that sports are claimed to serve only leisure purposes. Some people lack the innate gifts or physical characteristics such as flexibility, speed, and height to perform and play a professional athlete, which causes them to believe that sports only provide them with a sense of relaxation. For example, many students at schools reckon that sports are added to their curriculum to release their stress and pressure after Math or Physics lessons.

On the other hand, there is ample evidence that sports play an indispensable part in our life. For a thriving society, each individual has to possess great health to work and contribute, which requires them to participate in sports regularly to improve and enhance both their physical and mental well-being. Taking part in sports results in the decrease of certain problems such as weak bones, osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease. Furthermore, playing sports also reduces the level of anxiety and stress, leading to a better state of mind in which people work more efficiently. In addition, international sporting events promote the host nations' tourism that is conducive to the growth of the economy. The Olympics games is a prime example as the host countries will attract a flood of visitors and fans bringing them a remarkable amount of profit.

In conclusion, albeit the claim that playing sports is just a means of recreational activities, I concur with the more convincing view that sports also have a pivotal role in the development of people's health and the country's economy, with the aforementioned discussion.

Do not include a personal opinion statement at the start of the paraphrase. This opinion should not be included because it is not a part of the original topic presentation. It is not related to the original prompt and therefore, should be skipped in the restatement. The Next 2 sentences were all that were needed to restate the topic from the first version.

There is a bit of a confusion with the following writer's statement:


What does this mean in the mind of the writer? What exactly was he trying to say in his native tongue? This is a phrase that does not make any logical sense to the examiner. The last part, the one that clearly states the opinion basis, would have made for a better, clearer, and supported writer's opinion statement.

The comparative analysis as required of this writing is lacking. The general statement, without pronoun usage indicates that these are observations made only from the personal opinion of the writer. A POV that is lacking in basis since there should be a discussion regarding:

1. What the public opinion is and why it is supported by the public
2. The writer's view of these reasons and why he opposes or supports these

The writer failed to properly represent his own opinion as well. By explaining it in the concluding paragraph, he automatically failed the test since there no closing summary as required by the formatting considerations. If he wanted to use the 3 paragraph response format then the presentation should have been:

Par. 1: Prompt restatement + opinion w/ thesis
Par. 2: Explanation for public opinion 1 with correct pronoun usage
Par. 3: Explanation for public opinion 2 with correct pronoun usage
Par. 4: Personal opinion using first person pronouns
Par. 5: Concluding summary

His reasoning statements are confusing and difficult to follow due to the lack of cohesive discussion. The topics do not interrelate in the paragraphs and the explanations seem to move from one topic to another without any connecting reasons.

It is for these reasons that the presentation can be considered weak and short on scoring considerations that would have helped it pass the test.