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Why is sport is important at school?


M19O09F11 6 / 9 1  
Jun 28, 2015   #1
Schools are regarded as a factory to make professional students to contribute in developing their country .Therefore, Ministries of education have planned to design curriculum to help students to build their cognitive capacities .Thus it is significant to achieve the balance between academic and Athletic classes to support educational process to get perfect outcomes.

First, physical education is mainstay to strengthen student's body and keep their health .Moreover, the role of school develops and enhances student's talent for example, swimming, football or volleyball.

Secondly, A sport is important to improve academic performance through accelerating blood circulation to stimulate the concentration and attention inside class to raise student's understanding.

On the other hand, when students take sequential scientific subject instance, physic, chemistry, math and biology, signs of stress and boring are noted on student, and it reduce the attention and concentration. Thus it reflects negatively on student's understanding.

Last, playing sport at school leads to social benefits. It gives student opportunity to learn beneficial behaviors. When they play together sport such as, football. Therefore they understand the cooperation meaning and enable them to communicate with others. In the other words, it supports student's communication capacities to bridge their society.

In conclusion, Physical education is a cornerstone to create a healthy mental generation and activate the brain to raise the attention and concentration. Therefore, academic outcomes are developed and improved to gain the best educational achievements. In order to governments should provide athletic materials for schools to support and grant a chance to share sport classes.

justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 28, 2015   #2
- Therefore, Ministries of education have planned to design a curriculum to help students to build their cognitive capacities .

- Thus it is significant to achieve thea balance between academic and Athletic classes to support educational process to get perfect outcomes.

- First, physical education is mainstayessential to strengthen student's body and keep their health.

- Moreover, the role of school develops and enhances student's talent for example, swimming, football or volleyball.

- SecondlyNext , A sport is important to improve academic performance through accelerating blood circulation to stimulate the concentration and attention of the student inside the class to raise student's understanding.

- On the other hand, when students take sequential scientific subject instance,such as physic, chemistry, math and biology, signs of stress and boringboredom are notedsignificant on student, and it reduces the attention and concentration.

- Thus itThis reflects negatively on student's understanding.

M19, I made a few corrections on your essay, I hope it helps.
Now that you have been writing for a while, follow thru the corrections that I made and you can definitely enhance your essay.
Also, mind the following;

- grammar and sentence construction

- linking verbs

- proof read your essay all the time

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
IqbalThemi 44 / 46 13  
Jun 28, 2015   #3
Hi, I would like to suggest you for introduction more students, especially who focus on IELTS writing test, will talk about it in general ideas which lead us, as a writer, easily to break down body paragraph. In my opinion, I would regret to argue your introduction here is so far specific and then does not coherent with main idea of each paragraph.

Let me provide an example with your task:

Why is sport is important at school?

Running sport regularly enhances level of a great stamina for many scholars. As such, some citizens argue that this is a key factor to lead more and more students to perceive a perfect health, improving their a academic performances. Meanwhile, a social character will appear in daily intercommunication with their friends as long as they immerse in community of running physical exercise at a academic environment. Therefore, I personally believe that the sport play a significant role at the school curricula.

Hope this helps
Junisha111p 11 / 21 4  
Jun 29, 2015   #4
Hello M19,

I read your essay. I think you have got sufficient description about your grammar and style of writing.
I would like to add few point in the argument that you could have add few more point to strengthen you essay. For example-

1. Sports not only provide the stamina, capacity, and release from boredom , but also it does opens the career way. Now a days, most parents want their kid to go for study. They are basically predefined the path for them, whether students like or not. Some developed school, they introduce almost all type of sport. It opens a multiple option to chose and direct your interest. In that way, student may find his interest in particular sport and make some good work in that field.

2. Currently students gets victim of many disease, main reason behind it is that they are busy with electronic gadgets, could not able to make time for physical sports. School, by providing sports option , helps student to do physical work. In that way they would make themselves fit as well as increase concentration in study.

These point could raise essay to a good level.

Cheers!!


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