IELTS- sporting events and their need for easing international tension

TOPIC
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

answer-

Time and again, nations across the globe are in a rat race to prove their world dominance and to claim territorial supremacy. The whole world is running blindly to amass arms and ammunition. This has resulted in a lot of tension among nations. Steps to ease this tension are very necessary. Sporting events have played a significant role to ease this tension.

Sporting events play a pivotal role in uniting the common public on one single platform. Lack of communication between people is also responsible for the tension. Winston Churchill once said ," There is no such thing as public opinion. there is only published opinion". The common people only say what they hear, which results in tension. However, these sporting events brings the hearts of the people together. People can meet and understand the ground realities of each other's nations during these sporting extravaganzas. People show the support for their countries in a more dignified and sporting manner in such events.

International events in the field of sports, also helps to renew bilateral ties between nations who are supposedly foes. It can result in a small, yet significant step for renewal of ties among nations and to promote cultural exchange and sporting tours.

For instance, international events like football World Cup , Olympics, Commonwealth games etc., bring all the nations together on a single platform, forgetting their enmity. Nations like , India-Pakistan, USA-Russia, North and South Korea participate in these events together to promote peace, sportsmanship and improve ties.

But these sporting events need a lot of investment , which is not easy for any country. However , considering the promotion of peace and releasing tension , this is a very small price to pay. In addition, sometimes during these sporting events, brawls and fights also occur. This should be dealt strictly to preserve the sporting spirit.

I firmly support for the promotion of these sporting events. Although they are not a complete solution to the tension, yet they have a significant effect. Step by step only a herculean task can be achieved and this is a very peaceful step.

When you get to the end of that first paragraph and make your point, I think you should use a longer, more meaningful sentence that expresses your main message to the reader a little more clearly.

Do the quote like this:
"There is no such thing as public opinion. T here is only published opinion."

International events in the field of sports also help to renew bilateral ties between nations that are supposedly foes.

I think the word require will be good here:
But these sporting events need require a lot of investment, which is not easy for any country.

Do not use although and also yet. Just use one or the other:
They are not a complete solution to the tension, yet they have a significant effect.
or
Although they are not a complete solution to the tension, they have a significant effect.

:-)

thanks Kevin... I will try to improve my essays...I feel I have shown imrpovement ...slowly but steadily..thankx a tonne