people like to exercise
Nowadays more and more people like to play sports. Some people like to go jogging, play basketball as well as go to a gym and so on. There are some reasons why people like to exercise. First of all, exercising is healthy. You must have heard somebody saying that you have to exercise more than thirty minutes and even more than three times in a week. I think this saying is right. When I was a little girl, I often had a fever. Therefore, my mother told me to join the school volleyball team to make me stronger. When I began to play volleyball, I seldom got sick. Also, I was stronger than most of the children. Secondly, if you are stressful, you can play sports. It can help you release most of the stress and make you calm down. For example, when my sister was preparing the big exam, she was so nervous that she got a stomachache. She began to jog every night and then she felt better after exercising. Last but not least, sports can make you keep in good shape. Now, because we eat lots of junk food, more and more people are getting fatter. Then, we have to exercise to lose weight. Even many people will go to the gym for training the beautiful muscle. I have a friend who was a fat boy and hated to play sports. One time, he wanted to make a friend with a cute girl. That girl refused him and told him that he was ugly because he was too fat. She didn't want to have a fat friend. According to this experience, my friend made the decision to lose weight. After one year, he lost his weight, becoming a handsome guy and made many friends. Above all, I think playing sports is important to us. We have to exercise to become healthier, release your stress and keep in a good shape.Divide your composition into separate paragraphs to follow the general rules and conventions of writing.
I recommend that you try to evade the usage of informal language. Doing this can enhance the overall quality of your essay because it will enable you to have more grammatically correct composition.
Let's take a look at your first few sentences.
I can revise these as:
There is an increasing trend of the number of people who prefer playing sports. We have individuals who enjoy jogging, playing basketball, or simply going to the gym. The essay will expound on the reasons why people like exercising.
Notice how I had changed more and more into increasing; I had also changed nowadays into mentioning that it is an increasing trend. Doing subtle changes such as this can drastically improve your essay because it paves way for the fluidity of the language to come through. Try to mimic this technique throughout the essay.
When you make bold statements in your essay, always make sure that you try to briefly support it with additional details. Even just small details can help. For instance, when you mention that we have an increasing appetite for junk food, you can give a sentence or two that expounds this before proceeding to your next sentences. This is essential, especially if you aim to have a structured formatting to your essay.
Apart from these things, I think that mentioning a couple of stories was a good call for this particular essay. I would only suggest that you try to tone down your tone, keep everything as formal as possible, and watch out for grammatical mishaps that can disrupt your essay's flow.
Best of luck.
