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Sports - playing in teams vs individually


VaniseBlackwood 1 / -  
Nov 21, 2019   #1

opinions about different sport activities



Task 2: Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sports play a vital role in our everyday life due to its benefits for the best of health. Although it seems that people have various views about different sport activities and decide which sport is better for them to participate in, I am of opinion that taking individual sport is a preferable option.

On the one hand, team sports requires teamwork skills and genuinely enhance our social relationships. From many aspects, team sports such as football games is somehow similar to the process in which employees have to work together to compete with the opponents. Besides, playing sports in team can eventually make great chances for people to build new relationships and even broaden their network. As a result, team sports can guarantee player's social communication skills apart from boosting life expectancy.

On the other hand, I do reckon that playing sport on one's own in fact make greater profits to some extent. The first reason is that taking up personal sport allow us to foster independence instead of relying on the others. As the participants want to come out on top, it'd be better try the hardest he can as there is no one by his side. Moreover, a peculiar sport is easier to get along well with our schedule and maintain regular training. Considering that playing sport in team is much more enjoyable, there will be ticklish time for us to share time for attending the weekly sessions.

In conclusion, while team sports bring about undeniable benefits, I believe people should devote more of their spare time to playing individual sports.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,047 372  
Nov 22, 2019   #2
@VaniseBlackwood
Welcome to the site! I'm a contributor here - and I am hoping that this feedback gives you an idea on how to improve your writing.

The introductory thesis statement is well-done. It was a put-together method of formatting your writing, especially because you were able to relay the information with ease. What I do suggest is trying to be more straightforward with the rest of your writing. For example, that second sentence in the first paragraph immediately is over-stretching the details instead of focusing on what really needs to be incorporated into the text.

In the same line of thought, omitting unnecessary and excessive details is also a great way to move forward and maximize your writing space. For example, in your second paragraph's third sentence, you could have removed mentioning that this will "broaden their network" since that's precisely what "building relationships" entail. Being more specific will give you more of a detailed outlook than anything else.
jocelyne001 9 / 21 13  
Nov 27, 2019   #3
Hello~
I have some suggestions for your essay.

Firstly, I think the second sentence of the second paragraph can be deleted since it seems to make too many explanations for me. I think your point is good, maybe it's better to add another advantage, so the content of the second paragraph can be more abundant. Secondly, in your second counter statement of paragraph three, you mention the effectiveness of planning your own schedule by playing peculiar sports. However, not all peculiar sports are for single players, maybe it's better to be changed.

Hope my opinions are helpful~


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