Both sides will be discussed before a reasonable conclusion is drawn.
Okay, leaf ninja, this is the most important advice I ever give: Sum up your argument in a sentence at the end of the first paragraph.
So, instead of just saying "both sides will be discussed," you have to also give a sentence that tells the MAIN IDEA you are expressing in the essay. This idea is the PURPOSE for writing the essay. It is an idea that you wanted to express , and it is such an important idea that you wanted to write an essay about the idea.
That is because many zoos, especially the ones in developing countries, do not provide the care and attention which their animals require. ---I made a small change here.
On the other hand, the advocates of zoos believe that zoos provide the...
Many people, especially young children, enjoy going...I moved a comma.
Nice job! This is very good writing.