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TASK 2: Starting Own Business, Do The Merits Outweigh The Drawbacks?


nuni11 33 / 30 5  
Feb 7, 2016   #1
SOME PEOPLE DECIDE TO START THEIR OWN BUSINESS INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR A COMPANY OR ORGANISATION. DO THE ADVANTAGES FOR PEOPLE WORKING FOR THEIR OWN BUSINESS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

Generally, people work to fulfill their nerds and pursuit their dream. As per some individuals, it is better for humans to build their own company rather than applying in particular company. While I believe that this notion has merits and drawbacks. I personally argue that this has more positive than negative effects.

The negative side of starting a business is that the work competition is very tight in the modern are so that a new company can face bankruptcy if it does not has any innovative idea to compete with others organization. As a result, the employers can fall into debt. In addition, there is no such guarantee about pension cost in such condition. While in some companies offer severance payment, this condition does not apply if people start their company.

However, the advantages of starting a new company are that a person can give orders to their workers and create standards of their employees. Despite the fact that having a high position in a party ensure well payment, that person still an employee who can be issued any time. By establishing a business, the individuals can manage the working time in their workplace so they tend to have more leisure time as time goes by. Furthermore, they can follow their own passion and creating vocation for wider range of citizens. It is thus clear that laying a company brings immense benefits not only to the persons themselves but also other people.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that even though starting an organization needs hard work to be successful, this option benefits greatly for many more people. Therefore, I strongly believe that beginning a business is a better choice. Where possible, people should bring more innovative ideas before starting particular party.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Feb 7, 2016   #2
Sri, your excellent discussion is only marred by some grammar problems. You have the right idea and you know how to present it to the reader. The only problem, is that you sometimes have a problem choosing which English words to use in reference to what you want to say. Let me show you the correct words to use in the problem areas of the essay below. I will also show you the unnecessary sentences that tended to muddle the message of your written work. One small mistake on your part though, you presented a totally new line of discussion in your conclusion rather than simply using the summary points to close the essay. You have to avoid that in order to prevent points loss during the actual test. Also, take note of the redundant parts of your essay. Stop using 2 words that mean the same thing successively in a sentence. That is also a writing weakness that can affect your final score.

... fulfill their nerds NEEDS and pursuit PURSUE their dream. As per ACCORDING TO some individuals, it is better for humans to build their own company rather than applying WORKING FOR A in particular company. While I believe that this notion BELIEF has merits and drawbacks. I personally argue BELIEVE that this STARTING A COMPANY OR WORKING FOR ONESELF has more positive than negative effects.

... work competition is very tight in the modern BUSINESS ARENA are so that a new company can face bankruptcy if it does not has any innovative idea to IT CANNOT compete with others organizationS. As a result, the employers BUSINESS OWNER can fall into debt. In addition, there is no such guarantee about RELATING TO pensionS cost in such condition. While in some companies offer severance payment, this condition does not apply if people start their company WORK FOR THEMSELVES.

... create QUALITY standards of FOR their employees. Despite the fact that having a high position in a party AN OFFICE WILL ensure well payment A GOOD SALARY, that person IS still an employee who can be issued FIRED any time. ... they tend to have more leisure time as time goes by . Furthermore, they can follow their own passion and creating vocation CREATIVE IDEAS for A wider range of citizens CLIENTS. It is thus clear that laying STARTING a company brings immense benefits ...

... this option OFFERS MANY benefits greatly for many more people. Therefore, I strongly believe that beginning a business is a better choice. Where possible, people should bring more innovative ideas before starting particular party.


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