Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

IELTS writing task 2: state-funded public transport - agree/disagree

NguyenPhuoc 5 / 8 5  
Jan 2, 2021   #1
Some people think that public transport should be funded by the government so that it can be free to the people who use it.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Public transport has become a common vehicle in our daily life. Those means of transport has brought many benefits to our environment. In other word, the more people travel by public transport the more benefits are gained. Thus, I party approves that government should make it free for public transport users.

As I mentioned above, Public transport like bus is one of the key elements to improve environment quality for reducing the amount of pollutant particles stem from cars and motorbike, cutting down the expenses the government has to pay to solve air pollution. In addition, lessening the number of vehicles on the streets solve traffic congestion, benefiting the countries where bottlenecks are commonly the norm. Besides, to make it possible, the government should raise tax to balance the fiscal budget, motivating people to travel by public transport since they have paid for their trip through taxes

However, public transport includes not solely bus but also other expensive means of transport like train, ship and airplane, which cannot be totally funded by the state for the high price and not everyone travels by those vehicles every day, which makes it irrational for them to pay for the vehicles they do not use frequently. Hence, the policy should only apply for bus travelers who only need to travel in short distance. If the policy is approved by the state, not only the air quality will be benefited but the awareness of community will also grow since many poor people will be able to travel around easier.

In short, state-funded bus can facilitates air quality and increase the sense of community of people in a country. However, applying such policy to other means of public transport like train or airplane should be unreasonable for high price and having less travelers than pedestrians

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,088 3251  
Jan 2, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement is incorrect as it includes personally developed information. This removes the original reference points in the original presentation and alters the presentation and understanding for the reader. You must stick only to the provided information for the restatement so as not to alter any of the provided data while preserving the text meaning. A more appropriate restatement would have been:

A public idea has been emerging regarding the existing mass transit system. There are those who believe that the urban transportation service should be completely subsidized by the bureaucracy so that the population can use the services free of charge. I partially approve of this idea based on the reasons that... and....

The two discussion topics can help bring clarity and support to your opinion, upon which your TA score is heavily based. In your presentation, you lack not only alternate word usage for keywords, but you also failed to present a clear opinion based on your measured response.

Your reasoning paragraphs are too wordy, but fail to get to the point in a cohesive and concise manner. You need to focus on a shorter but clearer discussion presentation, rather than using so many words to simply introduce your topic sentence. This is not a word or vocabulary test, this is a test of your analytical skills, presented in English, based on summarized but clearly explained discussion presentations.
toodii2102 6 / 12 3  
Jan 5, 2021   #3
Hi Nguyen! Here are some typos you should correct:
- In another word / other words, the more people ...

- Public transport like the bus is one ... reducing the number of ...

- ... on the streets solves traffic ...

- In short, the state-funded bus can facilitate air ...

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: state-funded public transport - agree/disagree