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TOEFL: the statement that teenagers nowadays do not spend enough time in helping their communities.

Crystal812 23 / 55 11  
Mar 7, 2016   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Within the last few decades, there has been an unprecedented development in society. Therefore, young people are forced by their teachers to study hard and are assigned a lot of tasks after school. Furthermore, they have various access to entertainment because of the Internet. Even though some young individuals volunteer their services in spare time, they choose to help people far away from their regions or countries to have profound effects in the world. So I would like to agree with the statement that teenagers nowadays do not spend enough time in helping their communities.

First of all, facing heavy stress came from their parents and teachers, young people do not have enough time to pour into their communities. In campus, teachers give students a lot of materials to read and homework to do, which occupies a large amount of time in their lives. And sometimes when they accomplish assignments, they are required by their parents to cultivate skills, such as learning a second language or playing the piano. This sort of lifestyle keeps young people quite busy nowadays and cannot have other extracurricular activities.

Second, when young people have spare time on weekends, they are more likely to have fun with their friends to relieve anxiety. For example, due to the great assistance of the Internet, kids can watch TV series online for a long time and chat with their companies through Twitter or Facebook, which are very convenient and comfortable. Also, some young people are inclined to play online games to entertain themselves, which usually cost a few hours every time. What I want to argue is that, when they get rid of stressful work or study, they prefer to have a good rest, instead of helping communities.

Last but not least, it is hard to deny that some children do volunteer in their spare time; however, young people now would like to go far away from their regions, even countries. For instance, a lot of my classmates join some NGOs in Africa or Asia to contribute to charity. They may want to volunteer and help society develop, but the major focus of attention is not serving local communities.

In conclusion, I believe that young people do not give enough time to helping their communities recently, because they have a tremendous amount of pressure came from teachers and parents, and they are more possible to relax themselves during free time, not to mention volunteers joining foreign NGOs.
Lynn88Mr 1 / 16 8  
Mar 7, 2016   #2
Hi Menglu. I think you have enough points in elaborating your essay. However, I believe you should change your introduction as the introduction itself is full with the reasons for teenagers didn't contribute much in community volunteer. Try to elaborate more on what is a community helping and what sort of activities can be done by the community. Then, try to relate this points with the lack of teenagers involvement in this activity. For example, "although there is a lot of fun activities and achievements in community volunteer, these activities mainly involve adults and elderly. There is a lack of involvement from the teenagers and younger generations." Then, state your reasons one by one in a separate paragraph. Hope this will help. ^^

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