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There's a statement that tourism gives negative impacts in their country's destination


Fadhilahumar91 61 / 73 6  
Aug 23, 2016   #1
Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.
How true is this statement? What can tourist do to reduce the harmful effect of tourism on local cultures and environments?


In the present time, travelling in around the world is a good choice for the most people. But, there a statement that tourism gives negative impacts in their country's destination. I think there some reason why this statement is true, especially in culture change and environment problem.

The negative effect for culture change is cultural acculturation. The tourist who travel in the other countries bring their original behavior in their country's destination that influences the local culture. For example ethnic group in Kajang, South Sulawesi. Before international tourist came, Kajang had two types of ethnic which is White Kajang and Black Kajang. But Nowadays, White Kajang has been not, because culture acculturation. It happen because the original culture from international tourist influenced local culture in White Kajang that change local behavior directly.

Not only about cultural change, but the tourism has influenced environmental change who people travel to. Foor example, the tourist think if they do not responsible to protect the environment. Many tourists throw plastics in their destination area. Finally, tourism places have been dirty area.

In conclusion, tourism has been brought negative impact in their destination such as local cultures and environment. But we can reduce that negative impacts when every tourist have responsibility to protect the original culture and environment who they travel to.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Aug 23, 2016   #2
Hi Fadhila, I would like to focus on the first and the last paragraph of your essay. As I know, those paragraphs are the most essential parts in IELTS writing task 2. The detailed descriptions below are my feedback. I hope you can follow through.

1st paragraph:
- In the present timeThese days , travelling in around the world is a good choice for the most people.
- ButHowever , there is a statement that about tourism that gives negative impacts inon their country's destination countries .
- I thinkbelieve that there are some reasonsthat indicate why this statement is true...

4th paragraph:
- In conclusion, tourism has been brought negative impacts toward itsin their destination country such as...
- ButHowever, we can reduce thatthe negative impacts when every tourist havehas responsibility to protect the original culture and environment whoin which they travel to.

As you can see Fadhila, you need to pay more attention to sentence structure more often. Just make sure that the sentence that you are creating is okay and you've already mastered it. This would avoid inaccuracies. Minor flaws are more likely to lead you to a high band score. Good luck for the next IELTS practice :)
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Aug 23, 2016   #3
for the second time, your essay is not consist of at least 250 words. there are only 217 words here.

In the present time, travelling in around the world is a good choice for the[the using of 'most'here is not for superlative form, but as a determiner to mention/speak about something in general. Thus, no need to use article 'the] most people. But, there IS a statement that tourism gives negative impacts inONtheir country's the destination countries. I think there ARE some reasonS why this statement is true, especially in ON culture change and environmentAL problem.

*pay attention in the singular/plural issue and the forming of nominal sentences.

The negative effect for of culture change is cultural acculturation. The touristS who travel in (...) original behavior into their country's destination that influences ...

For example ethnic group in Kajang, South Sulawesi.[for example and for instance need to follow by subject+verb]on the timeBefore international touristS came have not come yet, (...) of ethnic which is are White Kajang and Black Kajang. But Nowadays, White Kajang has been not existed anymore, because ofculture acculturation. It happenS because the original culture from international touristS has influenced and changed the local culture in of White Kajang inhabitants that change local behavior directly.

Not only about cultural change, but ALSOthe tourism has influenced environmental changewhich is influenced by tourismwhowhere people travel to. Foor example, the touristS think if they do not have responsibility to protect the environment.

Finally, tourism places have been become dirty area.

... been brought negative impactS in their destination such as ...
... original culture and environment whowhere they travel to

you should write a paragraph that explain about measurement to reduce the harmful effect of tourism instead of only write it down on conclusion


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