Well done. You have successfully written your report essay, but some changes in particular Vocabulary need more improvement in order to pass test with flying colors.
Most students think that they will earn a high score in IELTS writing if they use BIG WORDS. Otherwise, such a way pulls down their score. It is a
The statistic characterizing
which is one of the BIG WORDS. Only this, such phrase sounds little bit awkward since the meaning shows unnatural English. I suggest using another phrase which is simpler and could straight to the point.
It is clear that the tendency show a declining population in Scotland over a 80-year period.
A very good overview is extracted from the the main idea of each body paragraph and is written in two sentences. If you see the overview you present above, this does not cover what Task Achievement wants you to do. With this style, your score is ranging between 5 to 5.5 in TA.
How to solve this??? Writing a 2-sentence overview is a must.
wereWAS a slight rise
Subject and verb agreement
The number of population growth wasSHOWED a similar trend
If you write THE NUMBER then this should be followed by COUNTABLE NOUNS, e.g. THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE/ THE NUMBER OF CARS.
While the death rate decreaseD sharply
pay attention to time duration.
there is envisaged
there will be envisaged
All in all, you have shown us a good report. Make sure that you see all the changes given and therefore you can learn from those. Hope this helps :D