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The statistic characterizing of human population trends in Scotland from 1940 to 2020


molly16 9 / 10  
Aug 12, 2016   #1
Demographic Trends in Scotland - Task 1

The statistic characterizing of human population trends in Scotland from 1940 to 2020 which was categorized on birth rate, population growth rate and death rate is illustrated in the line graph and measured in percentage. It is clear that the tendency show a declining population in Scotland over a 80-year period.

The birth proportion experienced a dramatic decrease from 2.5 per cent in 1940 to 0.5 in 2020. There were a slight rise in the late 1940s and 1960s accompanied with considerable falls, especially between 1950 and 1960.

The number of population growth was a similar trend during the period question and indicating a strong link between birth and population rate. There is a significant increase between 1945 and 1955.

While the death rate decrease sharply from 1940 to 1955 of 0,4% and then went down steadily over a 45-year period latter, there is envisaged to rise slightly over the next decade which predicted as the old generation growth.



eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Aug 13, 2016   #2
Well done. You have successfully written your report essay, but some changes in particular Vocabulary need more improvement in order to pass test with flying colors.

Most students think that they will earn a high score in IELTS writing if they use BIG WORDS. Otherwise, such a way pulls down their score. It is a

The statistic characterizing

which is one of the BIG WORDS. Only this, such phrase sounds little bit awkward since the meaning shows unnatural English. I suggest using another phrase which is simpler and could straight to the point.

It is clear that the tendency show a declining population in Scotland over a 80-year period.

A very good overview is extracted from the the main idea of each body paragraph and is written in two sentences. If you see the overview you present above, this does not cover what Task Achievement wants you to do. With this style, your score is ranging between 5 to 5.5 in TA.

How to solve this??? Writing a 2-sentence overview is a must.

There wereWAS a slight rise

Subject and verb agreement

The number of population growth wasSHOWED a similar trend

If you write THE NUMBER then this should be followed by COUNTABLE NOUNS, e.g. THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE/ THE NUMBER OF CARS.

While the death rate decreaseD sharply

pay attention to time duration.

there is envisaged

there will be envisaged

All in all, you have shown us a good report. Make sure that you see all the changes given and therefore you can learn from those. Hope this helps :D


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