Ielts 1 - statistical information on the amount of flora and fauna extinction in tropical forests

Topic: plant and animal

The line chart and bar chart provide statistical information on the amount of died out flora and fauna in tropical forests, per million species, in a period of more than 100 years and factors putting plant life in jeopardy. Generally speaking, human is the biggest contributor posing a threat to vegetation.

More specifically, starting at only under 5000 at the beginning of the period, extinct species experience a dramatic rise till 2060 when the figures are expected to peak at 50000 which is as much as 10 times higher than in 2000. The amount of extinctions falls steadily throughout the remaining period and seems set to continue. Agriculture has the most serious repercussion on plant life with the percentage of 18,7% which balances with the combination of natural disasters and other natural events( respectively at 7% and 11,7%). Plantations and invasive species each account for approximately 5%. This is almost 3 times lower than the second largest category: harvesting( about 14,4%) and half of the proportion of development( over 10%).

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I would switch your first two sentences. In the process of doing so, you could briefly expound and touch on the idea of human beings being a contributor to the threats to vegetation. Afterwards, you can proceed to mentioning the statistical information present in the graph and the chart. This would make your essay follow a more deductive method of content that is easier to comprehend for the readers.

Furthermore, be as straightforward as much as possible. Try avoid using words that lengthen the sentence (articles, modifiers that are redundant, out of place preposition, etc.). By doing this, you are able to curate text that is more academic.

For instance, I would suggest that you look into revising your second paragraph's first sentence as:
In the beginning, the number of extinct plant and animal species was only under 5 000. This is predicted to experience a dramatic rise until 2060 with figures expecting to peak 10 times higher than the base year.

By inserting terms (ie. base year) and omitting adjectives that do not contribute to the text itself, you are able to make a much more concise structure for your essay. Furthermore, I would also suggest that to avoid being repetitive with your usage of words. If you feel as though you can opt to change your phrasing, then feel free to do so.

Watch out for your usage of parenthesis as well. I noticed that you had utilized this method to describe your figures. Simply eliminate these and be straightforward with introducing your numbers. There's no need to add a parenthesis.

Best of luck.