I must point out an evident error that has appeared twice now in your task 1 writing presentations. You seem to be under the impression that the best way to score highly in this exam part is by combining the task 1 and 2 writing styles. Since the tasks have different objectives and different scoring considerations, the mixed writing style will not increase the score. Rather, deductions will be applied to writing and discussion format sections as it relates to the task objective.
Do not use the restatement + writer's opinion/ repetition of writing information in the summary overview. That is a task 2 writing practice, it does notrelate to task 1 requirements. In fact, you must learn to write in a proper task 1 format. Using a combined task writing presentation is not helpful to a score that could be lowered due to a confusing presentation style.
Try to do a better job at analysing the provided image. Do not skip the information source mention. Thatis an important part of the summary presentation.
On the other hand,
Where is the one hand comparison that should come before this?
Present uniform paragraphs of 3-5 sentences in length. 2 sentences will mean the paragraph in not fully developed, analyzed, and formatted. These will not be considered full paragraphs. A number of these paragraphs will receive reduced preliminary scores because of the lack of proper information dissemination in the paragraphs. Sometimes, thia problem can be solved using proper wording to introduce interlinked information through the use of proper transition sentences, phrases, or linking / transition words. This is an obvious weak point for you in both writing tasks that I have reviewed so far.