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Statistics of people who used Internet among the USA, Canada and Mexico citizens (1999-2009)

Jul 2, 2020   #1


Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. This is my first post. Thank you in advance for all your helpful advices.

The graph compares the percentage of people using the Internet among the USA, Canada and Mexico in the period from 1999 to 2009.
It is clear that the proportion of the Internet users increased in all three countries but there was fewer users in Mexico than in the other two countries.

In 1999, the highest percentage of Internet use was in the USA, with about 20%. Meanwhile, the proportions of people using the Internet in Canada and Mexico were lower, at around 10% and 5% respectively. Until 2002, the number of users was the same in both the USA and Canada, with just under 50%. And after that, Canada overtook the USA to become the country with highest percentage of Internet users.

In 2009, the number of users in Canada almost reached 100%. The percentage of Mexicans using the Internet was still the lowest, with approximately 40% and the proportion of USA Internet users was about 80%.

(158 words)

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,717 3062  
Jul 3, 2020   #2
You have an acceptable presentation. All the facts are there and the essay can be considered informative for something written in 20 minutes. That said, there are still several points you should consider improving on to increase your scoring potential.

For the summary overview, you would have scored better if you had used 4 sentences indicating:
- Topic
- Countries listed
- Method of measurement
- Trending statement

Since the sentence requirement is 3-5 per paragraph, covering 3 paragraphs, you should focus on making sure that you increase your presentation length, sticking with the suggested format and word requirement, to help increase your overall score.

In 2001, there was an intersecting population of users for Canada and the USA. Such a comparison point would be highly useful in proving your advanced writing skills and your ability to truly analyze a given image for pertinent information. This is a simple addition to your work but it would have helped with your TA score in a tremendous manner.

You cannot start a sentence with "and" which is is a conjunction used to coordinate related words, sentences, or clauses in a sentence presentation. It cannot be used after a period. However, it can be used before a period, after a comma that will indicate a pause between two related sentences.

While formatting errors exist in your essay, the thought process and presentation remains clear to the reader. The errors are not so bad that the reader cannot understand your work. The presentation uses simple sentence presentations which helped with the clarity of your work. You might want to try for more complex sentence presentations in the future, with additional punctuation mark usage.

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