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You should stay healthy, Health is precious

mytrinh 1 / -  
Oct 28, 2018   #1

what is good and what's not for our health

Nowadays, people are consuming a large amount of fast food and junk food. However, you should know those are not healthy. If you want to stay healthful, they should have a proper diet contains the right balance of carbohydrates, protein, fruits and vegetables, and fat. Try to eat lots of vegetables, fruit, and organic food and avoid junk food with a lot of fat and sugar. Eat right can help daily human event, studying, social life; it helps maintain people's weight and their overall health. Breakfast is essential to everyone, always eat breakfast. Eat enough protein, and lean meat is the best source of protein. People should get at least 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetable a day, it may cause many dangerous diseases if you do not eat vegetable or fruit. Stay hydrated also important because 70% of human is water, so drinking is essential. People should drink eight-ounce glasses of water every day; it helps to re-energize. If not drinking enough water, it makes people tired, skin dry or a headache. To maintain a healthy body, you will need 8-10 hours of sleep every day this keeps your awake and alert, so you do not have to drink caffeine and sugar-loaded energy drink. If you're a student and have early school times, go to sleep earlier. You should go to bed before 10 pm. Exercise is a great way to relax after studying all day; Human are recommended to take at least half an hour of exercise every day if they can. There are plenty of great ways to keep fit, like joining a sports team, go to the gym, or it could be walking, swimming, jogging, and ice skating, dancing, yoga. Those exercises can help a lot in their daily life; it makes people feel energetic and happy because when exercising the brain releases dopamine, the chemical makes people feel good. Treat yourself nicely and don't always be on the phone. Smartphones seem indispensable, but the more people use them, you should limit the use of mobile phones.Sleep deprivation is associated with heavy cell phones users. You need to rest your body so try not to stay up late at night on your phone. Smartphone overuse can even damage your eyes.

jolivares 3 / 5 1  
Oct 29, 2018   #2
Hi, I think that you should divide your essay in parragraphs, otherwise is a bit confusing to read. I feel like you're giving a bunch of ideas but not really linking those ideas properly. Develop a parragraph about a topic more than just isolated sentences. For example first you write about eating fruits and vegetables, proteins, etc; Then you write about drinking water; Later about sleeping properly; Then about doing exercise, and so on. Otherwise is just not coherent.

Also, try to speak more in general than talking to an "imaginary you". For example, "It is recommended to go to bed before 10 pm", instead of "you should go to bed before 10 pm". As a first draft it has the correct ideas but it needs more work.

Good luck!
Holt - / 7,530 2001  
Oct 29, 2018   #3
Janzpy, aside from needing to learn how to divide your presentation into topic paragraphs, you should also learr how to apply the use of the present participle, -ing when writing action words. - ing is a highly important suffix int he English language. It is used when created verb form of words. It is used mostly as a present participle but can also be a gerund, independent noun or adjective. Without it, your sentence structure is all off. In this essay, you need to use it for the present action words such as eating, Your essay needs improvement in tense presentation. This essay is written in present tense so you need to use the correct tense usage in order to create a proper time presented sentence.

Since you are just practicing how to write in English, I would say that this is a good presentation. It is relaxed and you show that you are developing a sense of comfort when using the English language. Keep writing even if you make mistakes, it is nothing that cannot be corrected and improved over time.

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