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'staying in touch' : Phones and E-mail have made communication less personal


Fardin 6 / 14  
Jul 5, 2013   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and E-mail have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion?

Today communication is one of the most important issues in human life. people need to have relation with each other to be able to continue their life .there are several type of communication media for people for instance phone ,email, mobile , internet chat and even face to face interaction. In my view using some new method of communication like email and phone is not only harmful for human's relationship but also is very vital, because of two important reason.

The main reason is staying in touch. Today people because of working in their work place or study in university ,are distributed along the city or even country, so they have less face to face communication with their family or friends ,so phone and email solved this problem .For instance two years ago I studied in Berlin in Germany where was not my mother country so I just could call or send email to my family and friends because I did not have any other communication way, so I believe email and phone are very useful media in human life.

Another important argument is saving time and speed in email or phone call .most of the time people does not have enough time for visiting each other or maybe it is not possible to come or back to each other's city because of lack of time or money, but now they can use email or phone to interact and speak together .For example this year in Christmas I could not went to all of my friends house and congratulate them but with help of phone I called all of them in an hour and greet all of them without wasting any time or money for going from an place to another. So I found it email and phone are very useful in today's complex life.

In my opinion email and phone not only persisted against reducing personal relations but also increased it .How I mentioned staying in touch and communicating with a very little expense are the gift of email and telephone. Everyone for having constant interaction with family or friends have to use email and phone.

thtm 1 / 5 1  
Jul 5, 2013   #2
there are several types of communication media for people, for instance phone

using some new methods of communication like email and phone is not only harmful forto human's relationship but also is very vital, because of two important reasons .

I suppose you have misused the structure 'not only... but also...'. According to the OALD, 'not only...but also...' is 'used to emphasize that something else is also true'. So if you use this structure in your sentence, people will infer that you mean 'using new methods... is both harmful and vital'. That sounds quite contradictory, doesn't it? Here is my suggestion:

My view is that far from doing harm to people's relationships, new methods of communication like email and phone play a vital role in human's everyday life because of two major reasons.

Today people because of working in their work place or study in university ,are distributed along

Because their workplace and university locations are scattered along the city or even country, today people seem to have less...

,so phone and email solved this problem

This problem can easily be surmounted with the help of phones and email.

For instance, two years ago I studied in Berlin in Germany,wherewhich was not my mother country, so I just could call or send email to my family and friends because I did not have any other communication wayways of communicaiton . Therefore , I believe email and phones are very useful media in human life.

people doesdo not have enough time for visitingto visit
each other

this year inat Christmas

I could not wentgo to

my friends' houses

with the help of phone I called all of them in an hour and greeted all of them without wasting any time or money for goingneeded to go from one place to another

So I found it email and phone are very useful in today's complex life.

In my opinion email and phone not only persisted against reducing personal relations but also increased it .How I mentioned staying in touch and communicating with a very little expense are the gift of email and telephone. Everyone for having constant interaction with family or friends have to use email and phone.

To sum up, it is my belief that email and phones do not reduce ... but actually increase them. As mentioned above, staying in touch and... the gift of email and telephones. Everyone, in order to have constant ..., has to use email and phones.
thtm 1 / 5 1  
Jul 5, 2013   #3
Your essay has relatively good ideas with supporting examples. However, I suggest that you should focus more on grammar when doing any writing task :)
OP Fardin 6 / 14  
Jul 5, 2013   #4
Hi dear "thtm" thank for your guide...
I already know my problem is in grammar but i don't know what should i do .
and because of lake of time i'm anxious .pls show me the way?!
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jul 5, 2013   #5
people need to have relation with each other to be able to continue their life

.... ideally, you should have started with this idea and then say how communication modes come in aid of this requirement.

Today people (??????) because of working in their work place or study in university ,are distributed along the city or even country, so they have less face to face communication with their family or friends ,so phone and email solved this problem .

.... this sentence is not properly constructed. It's difficult for others to understand your idea because of its poor organization and flow :( .... Avoid writing very long sentences. Think clear. Arrange your ideas logically. Then write short sentences to contain each idea (one line for one idea). That's the best way to start and keep improving!

Today, many people live in far away places from where their families and friends live due to their study and work commitments. Therefore, it is difficult for them to meet physically quite often. However, the telephone and e-mail help these people to stay connected with their loved ones every now and then.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 5, 2013   #6
, because of two important reasons .

... one reason/ two reasons

For instance two years ago I studied in Berlin in Germany wherewhich was not my mother countrymotherland so I just could call or send email to my family and friends because I did not have any other communication way, so I believe email and phone are very useful media in human life.

.... you need to pay attention to grammar. As Pahan suggested, have short sentences. They help you improve clarity of your writing;
For instance, two years ago I studied in Berlin, which is very far from my motherland. The only way I could communicate with my family and friends was making calls and via e-mails. Therefore I believe these two modes of communication are very effective ways to keep people connected with their loved ones when they live far apart.


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