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The Story of a Mouse Deer and a Snail

abdasyari93 9 / 19  
Sep 21, 2016   #1
Once upon a time, the whisper of wind made a number of animals in a forest felt so sleepy. A mouse deer went to walk around the forest to find a river. As a mouse deer walked, he said that "who does not know me? I am a clever, smart, and brave animal in this forest. I can solve every problem". When he arrived in a river, he met a snail. He did not know if a snail was watching him. A snail knew that the mouse deer is the most arrogant animal in this forest. As a result, a snail challenged a mouse deer to make a racing competition. Finally, they made a deal to do that. Then, the snail arranged a strategy to beat the mouse deer by asking the snail's friends. The snail asked his friends in order to hide behind boulders and called them while he was in front of the mouse deer. When the competition was started, the mouse deer walked slowly whilst the snail swam into water. Boastfully, the mouse deer believed that he would win this race. After a few steps, the mouse deer called the snail but surprisingly the snail appeared in front of the mouse deer. Next, he quickened his steps to chase the snail. But, again the snail arisen ahead. Then, the mouse deer run faster to win this competition and thought that the snail left behind. Yet, astonishingly the snail won the race. From this fable, we learnt that don not to be arrogant with your cleverness because everyone has their own plus and minus.

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TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Sep 21, 2016   #2
Your writing was pretty good, but much of this story was confusing to me. I don't understand what the plan was. What were the snail's friends supposed to do? Why did the snail go into the water? How was the snail able to stay ahead of the mouse deer? How did the snail win the race? My only guess is that the snail asked his snail friends to hide behind boulders. Then when they saw the mouse deer coming, they would jump out and pretend to be the original snail. Still, snails are so slow, the only way this would work is if there was a boulder basically right on the finish line of the race. And if this is the plan, wouldn't the moral be that it is better to cheat? In any case, you didn't really explain any of this at all.

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