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IELTS Essay about stressful lives of modern-day teenagers.


asefnoor 1 / 1 1  
Apr 10, 2018   #1
Q. Today's teenagers have more stressful lives than previous generations. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

big pressure on youth today



Although the standard of living has improved in the modern age, yet teenagers are going through the strain in their lives unlike in the past. As time is changing, more and more children are experiencing pressures such as financial, academic, social and peer pressure as well pressure due to poor time management. I believe some of these pressures were also present in the past but they were not too strong back then.

Teenager of modern age is more stressed due to financial burdens. With the passage of time, more and more families are falling under the poverty line. This has resulted in stress in young children as they are directly affected by this. Furthermore, today's youngsters are experiencing stress as to perform better, compete with others, examinations, homework, getting admission in good college and meeting their parents' expectations are common these days.

Another source of anxiety in teenagers is to get accepted by peers and social competition. They have to participate in certain groups, keep themselves updated with latest fashion trends, trying new things such as smoking, drinking and sometimes drugs. when they try to be what they are not, it becomes hard to maintain that image and exerts mental pressure on them. Also, adolescents of our time suffer from stress owing to poor time management. They do not have time for breakfast, school, homework or for playing games. They get interrupted easily by modern day technology like mobile phones and computer and are left with little time to do important things. This also results in extra stress.

In conclusion, the modern-day teenager feels more strain due to pressure at school, financial stress, meeting social needs to remain accepted by peers and their inability to manage time well. I believe that these pressures were also found in older times but they have become more powerful and apparent currently.
Ivonsestia 2 / 3 1  
Apr 10, 2018   #2
Dear Asefnoor,

Please let me give you some feedbacks.

1. The topic is about comparing the today's teenager with previous generation. I think on your essay, you focus on today's teenager. My advice, you need to discuss more about teenagers in the past.

2. On your first paragraph, I found 4 "pressures" words. Avoid using the repetitive word on your essay.

3. I don't think you need to say "more and more", just more J

That's all. I wish it can be useful. Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Apr 13, 2018   #3
Asif, the discussion begs you to do a compare and contrast presentation. That is why you are being asked to discuss the point of view provided along with your opinion. Your opinion needs to be formulated on the premise that the previous generation had an easier life than the current generation. That is not depicted in this essay so, even though you use the correct direct response approach, your response has become only partial in terms of prompt requirements. It is because of this reason that you might get near a passing grade for the essay, but not an actual passing grade. When you add up the under developed topic presentations per paragraph, you will get an even lower C&C score in the process. When combined with the low TA score due to prompt deviation, it will be extremely difficult for you to pull this up to a passing grade. You need to improve your English comprehension skills. Make sure that you understand what the instructions for the discussion format are so that you do not make a mistake which results in an over all lowering of your major scoring aspects. More importantly, remember the golden rule, one topic per paragraph within the 3 body paragraph discussion allotment. Don't have less than 3 sentences, but not more than 5 either. You did that several times in this essay so I really do not see how this essay will garner a passing score in an actual test.
OP asefnoor 1 / 1 1  
Apr 13, 2018   #4
@Holt
Thanks for your valuable and honest feedback. I really appreciate your detailed guidance and will follow your instructions in my writing section.


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