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IELTS - Strict Punishment for driving offences is a must to curtail traffic accidents


Meekay 1 / 3  
Mar 24, 2013   #1
Hi I made an essay and it needs correction, I'm quite poor in subj-verb agreement, help is highly appreciated! Thanx
[/b]Topic: Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures should be more effective in improving road safety.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Traffic accidents claimed many lives, it is happening globally and it needs to be reduced if not stopped! In some countries, it has been reduced significantly by imposing road rules but abiding to these guidelines are the problem. From using a mobile phone while driving, drunk driving, to unqualified drivers and other various reasons, contribute to high mortality rate in road accidents. Some people think that's strict punishment such as lost of license for a year or so and imprisonment are the solution to the problem. However, other people disagree, saying that there are effective ways like, increase the difficulty in driving test, more road signs and warnings, road cameras and police road patrols can improve road safety. In my point of view, preventing road accidents are the key to this problem and providing direct punishment for irresponsible drivers.

[b]
Prevention is better than cure and it applies to this matter. First, difficult driving test in written and practical exam, screen out those who are in capable of driving safely until passed. For example, driving test becomes more difficult each year in UK. Second, more road signs in accident prone areas, making these signs visible in the dark; warning signs are good help to drivers who are new in the place. Third, GPRS and other highly technical road car devices which guide drivers, facilitate easy driving and avoid wrong turns. Fourth, more cameras, capturing those who are using mobiles while texting or not using seat belt properly. Lastly, police road patrols, secure that drivers are in good state, not drunk or tired.

With these preventive measures, road accidents still occur thus people became restless and thought of a more drastic ways such as withdrawal of license or imprisonment . These are heavy punishments that drivers become more responsible, making sure that they are of sound mind while driving.

In conclusion, traffic accidents if not stopped, should be reduced in limited cases by preventive measure however punishment if proven guilty should be imposed. Therefore, I believed that both views can work together to promote road safety effectively.

dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Mar 24, 2013   #2
abiding to these guidelines areis the problem

.... but having people abide by these guidelines is the problem.

Some people think that's strict punishment such as lost ofbanning license for a year or so and imprisonment are the solution to the problem.

However, other people disagree, saying that there are effective ways like, increase the difficulty in driving test, more road signs and warnings, road cameras and police road patrols can improve road safety.

... your sentences have a little problem with your flow. You start the sentence in on tone and end it differently. That disturbs the flow. Also try and avoid very lengthy sentences.

However, other people disagree saying that there are more effective ways; Tough driving tests, Effective road signs and warning systems, cameras and police patrols are some of these measures to improve safety on road.
OP Meekay 1 / 3  
Mar 24, 2013   #3
Okay I will definitely take that on board, how about my essay structure. Thanx for ur time.
OP Meekay 1 / 3  
Mar 24, 2013   #4
I edited my essay, my tone sometimes is lost so hope this one sounds better...
mhss 18 / 53 18  
Mar 25, 2013   #5
Make a note on these,

EVEN THOUGH THE NUMBER OF ACCIDENTS HAS reduced significantly by imposing road rules WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN THIS CONTEXT IS THAT DRIVERS ARE LESS LIKELY TO abide to these guidelines.

If you can make a para for the opposing view "strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents" it would be better.
leslie17 - / 1  
Apr 23, 2013   #6
imposing strict punishment for driving can reduce road accidents.

some people think that imposing strict punishments for driving of offences can reduce road accidents. give your opinion.
niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Apr 24, 2013   #7
Undoubtedly yes! There should be strict punishments to be imposed for such matter. Prime reason is that we should think the welfare of the passengers. We all know how essential for them to assure security that is why the government should enact policies impeding the usual occurrence of road accidents. Companies as well as drivers must be required to follow all the policies and regulations; otherwise, they will be punished.
dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Apr 24, 2013   #8
some people think that imposing strict punishments for driving of offences can reduce road accidents. give your opinion.

What's the purpose of this essay? Are you preparing for IELTS or TOEFL?


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