safety on roads
Nowadays, in many countries the traffic accidents is still increasing day by day. much stricter punishments on traffic driving offenses are being promulgated by the governments which will decrease the road accidents. In addition, the driving offenses can lose somebody's live who should be imprisoned to deter everyone from breaking the rules. And that offender will become disciplined when they will be released. However, in my opinion, severe punishments for improving the road safety will not solve the issue thoroughly, but some solutions are also able to overcome effectively the road accidents. Firstly, infrastructure should be upgraded that build more lights in crossroads or folks, broaden roads for more lanes. Especially building lanes for cyclist is one of solutions which help to decrease the vehicles. Secondly, in many cities people use a lot of the private vehicles. Therefore, the government should impose heavy tax when people buy and use the vehicles. Then, private car taxes are high, people will choose the public transports in daily life. But the government should sanitize on public transports, specially busses. Finally, the government should try some new ways to reduce road accidents instead of imposing taxes.
So there are a few things u can improve on in your writing. The way you split up your sentences are not quite good. Instead of putting full stops, try putting commas. This will really improve your sentence structuring. Reading more books will help in your case!
Other than that, this paragraph is a good informative paragraph
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@khoipham305 I have a feeling that you are writing this essay as part of a Task 2 response because you indicate an opinion in your discussion. However, without the full prompt statement, I cannot be sure about how to guide you in the proper writing of this text. What I can tell you is this though, without a full 250 word essay (you wrote only 193 words) you will not get full scoring considerations for the score brackets. You cannot pass the test if you write less than the required amount of words.
Now, if this is for a Task 2 test then this essay has already failed based on the previous reasons mentioned. You need to learn how to properly format the essay into a 4-5 paragraph presentation of 3-5 sentences each. Follow these guidelines in writing the Task 2 essay first then we can more appropriately deal with the mistakes you made, grammar, punctuation, and other considerations included. Right now, you need to get the basics done right first.