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Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. An essay for financial assistance.

aundraj 1 / 2  
Oct 24, 2017   #1


It is humbly that I come to the world asking for help. My name is Aundra Jones. I am a person who has struggled most of my life. through it all I have been able to smile and thank God for my life and strength. Man it's hard to even put into words to express my need. Ok.......almost three years ago I decided to pursue my dream of becoming a Professional Hair Designer. I enrolled in school. the journey was extremely hard but God saw me through to the end.During that journey I fell homeless in the middle of a blizzard. I Ended up in a shelter.I was there for 4 months. The entire time I would got up at 5am catch a bus to work and at 3 catch another bus to school. At 9:30 pm I would ask around around the school for a ride back to the shelter. I had to be there by 10pm. I did that everyday. No family help just me. I eventually was able to get into an apartment. I loved my new apartment. It was still a struggle though because the only available apartment at the time was way across town so my commute to work and school was exhausting on the bus. But I had to do it or lose everything I worked so hard to obtain. I ended up moving 1 mile out of the 15 closer to work and school. But I was happy. By that time I was seeing progress in my studies so everything seemed worth it. the only support I had was from God and my customers at work. They kept me focused and encouraged. As I was finishing up my studies at school things at work started to grow cold with management knowing I was going to be leaving soon and pursuing my career. they cut my hours started suspending me for being late because of buses, and the weather. My school was then put under federal investigation(audited), which delayed financial aid disbursement. I was really counting on that money so I could get ahead on my rent,but instead got behind. I was only supposed to be in school for 18 months. I ended up being there for 22 months. But I finished 2 months ago. In Spite of all the hardships I went through and there were many, I finished. Now I am at serious risk of losing everything I own and my apartment. I have been paying EVERY TIME I get my paycheck. But the late fees and back rent prevent me from getting ahead. I Have been evicted. I have court in two weeks. I still have to take my state board exams but I can't focus because this problem is taking up all of my mental capacity and strength. I was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia in 2003 at University Hospital in cincinnati Ohio. I was going Cincinnati State at the time. So my energy levels are very low at this time. My body is turning on me. But I still work and try to push through the pain and exhaustion. But this time I don't think I will have the strength. I am on the third floor of my apartment complex. No help to move my belongings. It doesn't look like much but it's my stuff and this is my home. Please help me with this situation please. I dont have the strength to go through this type of devastation alone this time. I am afraid that this is it for me. If I could catch up I can focus on my exams, get my Credentials, and transition into the field I love and went to School for. Please help me. I is hard even typing this and embarrassing but I don't know what else to do. I have contacted all of the agencies in my area to no avail. I don't have small children so I get turned away left and right. I attended Salvation Army Church For 1 year and a half. Where I volunteered and help with many projects. They won't even help me either. ll I get is "THERE IS NO FUNDING". At night when I lay down that is what keeps running through my mind, "THERE IS NO FUNDING". Its is as if my life and livelihood is not as valid as the next persons. Please help me I don't know what else to do. Thank You ALL in advance.
just_writer 24 / 42 5  
Oct 24, 2017   #2
Here are some corrections,

It is humble that I come into the world asking for help.(Although I did not understand what you want to say)

I felt homeless
I ended up at the shelter.
I've been there for 4 months
No family helps just me. (The meaning is also vague)
Hospital in Cincinnati Ohio. (Uppercase)
state board exams, but I
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,696 3501  
Oct 24, 2017   #3
Aundra, I am not sure about how to help you with this essay because you have not given me any instructions for it. For instance, what scholarship or financial assistance program are you applying to? What are their requirements for this essay? I need to know what the main purpose for the essay is, as per the instructions of the institution you are applying to, what their requirements are, and how it is to be presented. That way I can review this extremely long and very ill formatted essay in a manner that will reflect the requirements that are required of you. There are a lot of things going against this essay. The first is, your pleading comes across as exaggerated. You need to be formal at all times in an essay such as this one. You also use caps lock to emphasize points. That is not really something that the reviewers appreciate when they read these essays. Simple discussions in proper upper and lower case formats are more accepted. Try to split up your essay into paragraphs. The way you have it written, it is not only difficult to read, but it is even harder to keep track of the discussions. I will wait for your instructions about how to write this essay then we can probably create a better version of it together.
OP aundraj 1 / 2  
Oct 24, 2017   #4
@HoltI am trying to obtain financial assistance from a program they offer for recent graduates of my school and the requirement is that I write a letter/essay on why i need assistance and how it i can benefit from it. thank you so much for your help Im at a dead end with my back up against a wall.

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