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Student attendance in four schools - WRITING TASK 1


Longan 1 / -  
Jul 20, 2019   #1

participation in lesson classes



The diagram illustrates the statistics of student attendance in four schools over the course of 7 years starting in 2001.
Looking at the graph it is immediately obvious that the quantity of students fluctuates in each school over the period shown. Royal Latin registers the highest biggest figures however the Didcot Secondary is virtually unchanged at the end.

The number of students in Royal Latin stood at roughly 545 in 2001. This figure went up 745 students in 2007, and it noticeable that only the quantity of students in this school increased in each year. A similar trend was witnessed in, which have the students varied between 2001 and 2007 and, moreover, is also the school with the most students.

It is apparent that the number of students increased from 2001 to 2007 in two school Royal Lantin and Page Hill respectively compare with the other schools. The graph also shows that the quantity of students in order had changed between Royal Latin and Didcot Secondary.

CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE ABOUT THIS EXERCISE ?

Cherry may 2 / 4  
Jul 20, 2019   #2
@Longan
By looking at the graph, it...
there was a fluctuation..
The registration rate in Royal Latin was the highest one..
You should focus on the period ..from 2001 to 2007. So, you have to use past tense.
Maria [Contributor] - / 1,068 379  
Jul 21, 2019   #3
@Longan
Hello there. I don't know if it's just me, but I cannot actually see the graph you have provided. It would be better if you could have clarified this in order toassist us in providing feedback for your writing exercise.

In general, the flow of your essay is quite put-together when it comes to the overall content that you have. I would only recommend trying to emphasize more on specific portions. Try to have more organization when you are descibing in order to have more clarity in the language of your text. In addition to this, try to also structure your sentences in a simpler and more concise manner. Do not squeeze in too much information in your text. For instance, in your second paragraph, the last sentence appears to be quite cluttered because of this rationale.

Best of luck as always.


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