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IELTS; 'every student either male or female should be given equal opportunity'


Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 16, 2014   #1
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In today's context, education is the most significant factor which ultimately determines one's future. In my personal opinion, I am totally agreed with the view that there should not be any room for partiality in terms of gender while allocating seats for students in every university courses. There appear to be various reasons often strike in my mind in support of this position.

To begin with, judging student's skills and abilities should only be based on their academic qualifications and talents rather than gender in particular. Nowadays, both male and female students are equally competitive to each other and deserve to produce impressive results in various field of education. In India, for example, female students are more often likely to grab more number of top scorer positions in every year higher secondary school examinations.

Furthermore, female students are highly interested in learning courses such as mechanical engineering which demands physical activities in their lab workshops, unlike previous generation females. In addition, due to increasing exposure on current affairs and knowledge on cutting-edge technological developments, female graduates are more willing to take huge responsibilities in their workplace, despite its intensive stress and pressure. For example, Chanda Kochhar, who is the CEO of India's second largest bank called ICICI bank and prominently awarded as the country's most powerful female head in business sector.

In conclusion, I am firmly supporting the view, that every student either male or female should be given fairly equal opportunity to purse their education in all university subjects, provided they should meet the required qualifications rather than putting limitations based on their gender. Government should take interim measures, to regulate admission process for university courses which enables every student to get benefit.

Saqib 4 / 14  
Mar 16, 2014   #2
In my opinion I think that you have given too much information about females, this makes it seem as if you are contradicting yourself. I would suggest that you change the writing to favor your point of view
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 16, 2014   #3
In my personal opinion, I am totally agreed with the view that there should not be any room for partiality in terms of gender while allocating seats for students in every university courses.

Well, before this , you need to introduce the background of the issue... hey, have you forgotten it? :D
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 16, 2014   #4
Hi Memomk4,
It is good to see your essay but I am not sure why you have written your essay in my thread. Kindly help post your essay in your own thread going forward. Thanks.
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 16, 2014   #5
In my opinion I think that you have given too much information about females, this makes it seem as if you are contradicting yourself. I would suggest that you change the writing to favor your point of view

Thanks for your comment. I too realize that I have written the essay emphasizing female education alone. Instead, it would be better if I have written some points in favour of male students as well which is really supporting my prompt.

" On the other hand, males students are largely interested in learning catering technology and home science.
Thanks again for your comment

Well, before this , you need to introduce the background of the issue... hey, have you forgotten it? :D

Sorry Dumi. I havent forget your structure :-). On seeing this question somehow I thought my introduction well enough.
Hereafter I will make your intro structure as a golden rules :-)
Here is my updated introduction
1. Hook : In today's context, education is the most significant factor which ultimately determines one's future.
2. Background : However, in some countries, students face unfair restriction in acquiring such incredible source of knowledge and wisdow with respect to their gender.
3. Thesis statement: In my personal opinion, I am totally agreed with the view that there should not be any room for partiality in terms of gender while allocating seats for students in every university courses.

Kindly gothrough the rest of my essay and let me know your comments . Thanks Dumi once again.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 17, 2014   #6
Hi Memomk4,
It is good to see your essay but I am not sure why you have written your essay in my thread. Kindly help post your essay in your own thread going forward. Thanks.

I removed Memomk4's essay from your thread. You are quite right saying that he should have had it in his own thread. As per forum rules, users cannot post their essays in others' threads.

Kindly gothrough the rest of my essay and let me know your comments . Thanks Dumi once again.

Nowadays, both male and female students are equally competitive to each other and deserve to produce impressive results in various field of education.

Good writing as always :)
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 17, 2014   #7
I removed Memomk4's essay from your thread. You are quite right saying that he should have had it in his own thread. As per forum rules, users cannot post their essays in others' threads.

Thanks Dumi :-)
bwosti 5 / 11 1  
Mar 17, 2014   #8
Though your writing style and vocabulary is good enough to appreciate, I think you are bit out of track and content does not appear to be coherent
uzboy 9 / 29  
Mar 17, 2014   #9
Good job!!! But you have only focused on female student. I think you should write balanced arguments.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 17, 2014   #10
Though your writing style and vocabulary is good enough to appreciate, I think you are bit out of track and content does not appear to be coherent

Good job!!! But you have only focused on female student. I think you should write balanced arguments.

Hey Arun, When I saw the above comments I reread your prompt and found they've got some good points. Actually what happens here is that it reads as you have accepted that females do not have a fair chance and you try to show why they deserve a fair chance. However, the prompt says;

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

Here, both genders are treated equally. So, your reasons should have been that
1)from the uni's perspective, they should make sure they take in the right candidate so that they need to give priority for the right qualifications,skills and capabilities of the student over his or her gender

2)from the student's point, they should be allowed to pursue their interest and there should not be any discrimination on gender.
You have written well, I mean your grammar, vocab and so on. However, alignment with prompt has a small issue. Sorry, I didn't notice in first go :(
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 17, 2014   #11
Hi Dumi / Uzboy / Bwosti,
Thanks for your comments. I too noticed that once I posted my essay and I have already accepted my fault in reply to Saqib's comment :-)

Thanks for your comment. I too realize that I have written the essay emphasizing female education alone. Instead, it would be better if I have written some points in favour of male students as well which is really supporting my prompt.
" On the other hand, male students are largely interested in learning catering technology and home science.
Thanks again for your comment

content does not appear to be coherent

--> Could you please cite some example in my essay that where I am losing coherency. So that I can rectify the same in my future writing. Thanks a lot for your Genuine comments.
ieltspinoy 1 / 2  
Mar 18, 2014   #12
purse- pusue
Anyway, I can see the argument here and it does make sense. :)
I am totally agreed with the view that there should not be any room for partiality in terms of gender while allocating seats for students in every university courses. There appear to be various reasons often strike in my mind in support of this position. - the introduction must be in a present tense always. :)


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