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IELTS; Students benefit from going to private secondary school?


shreyansh 4 / 8  
Aug 30, 2013   #1
TASK: Some people think that students benefit from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private secondary schools can have a negative effect on

society as a whole. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Education can be contemplated as the process of acquiring new knowledge and skills and there are many changes taking place in education system with modernism, especially in private schools. Some believe that private secondary schools are more beneficial while others oppose it. I give my view through following explanations.

Private school teachers can focus on every student due to sufficient staff according for given number of students. Subsequently, they can get a chance to know students' abilities and weak points by which they can take measures to improve their standards . Furthermore, private school managements are implementing web based teaching techniques by which they can make studies more interesting and entertaining. At the same time, private schools try to enhance students' creativity and abstract thinking power by engaging students in extracurricular activities such as painting , sports, music or painting. Likewise, students in private schools learn more productive elements such as discipline and punctuality than students in government secondary schools.

On the other hand, schooling in private schools are very expensive. It may be a burden to an average family. Moreover, these schools can create social discrimination like rich and poor because only affluent classes can afford such charges. In addition, students may develop negative qualities namely, not having social contacts with people from low economic status and they may treat others as inferiors.

To summarize, I can say that private schools are having many facilities and their quality of education is much more better than government authorized schools but they should minimise their prices so that it is reachable to all people in the society and they should also teach about the basics of life like respect towards everybody irrespective of religion and socio-economic position.

gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Aug 30, 2013   #2
On the other hand, schooling in private schools are very expensive. It may be a burden to an average family. Moreover, these schools can create social discrimination like rich and poor because only affluent classes can afford such charges . In addition, students may develop negative qualities namely, not having social contacts with people from low economic status and they may treat others as inferiors.

I think it would be better to have the highlighted sentence as your main idea, meaning this can be a strong opening sentence for your paragraph.

but they should minimisereduce their prices so that it is reachable to allcan be affordable by most people in the society

keep it simple

and they should also teach more about the basicsessentials of life like respect towards everybody irrespectiveregardless / in spite of religion and socio-economic position

be careful in choosing your words...

indeed this is a good attempt..great ideas, and you responded very well to the task.

hope this helps...
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 30, 2013   #3
I give my view through following explanations.

It's good to express your view straight away. Then the reader would follow your essay in your desired direction.

Private school teachers can focus on every student due to sufficient staff according for given number of student

Private schools have more resources comparatively in terms of teaching staff and other facilities. Therefore theyvare in a position to provide their students with better atention.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 20, 2013   #4
I like the comments provided by gmad06 and hope you pay attention to what he/she cites. Also, I've found gmad06's essays are very good and suggest you to read them too :)

On the other hand, schooling in private schools are very expensive. It may be a burden to an average family. Moreover, these schools can create social discrimination like rich and poor because only affluent classes can afford such charges. In addition, students may develop negative qualities namely, not having social contacts with people from low economic status and they may treat others as inferiors.

Well... you have given a few reasons here, but you have not supported them with specific examples that help you earn marks. Include examples for your reasoning.

indeed this is a good attempt..great ideas, and you responded very well to the task.

I agree.... your writing skills are very good. Pay more attention to the structure and align your writing with the prompt.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Sep 22, 2013   #5
I like the comments provided by gmad06 and hope you pay attention to what he/she cites. Also, I've found gmad06's essays are very good and suggest you to read them too :)

thanks Pahan. I am fattered with your comments...:)


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