In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Students who have finished their study in Senior High School are encouraged to not directly continue their studies but they have to work or travel for a year in certain countries. There is the advantages they can get, many experiences even money from that. However, the drawback is they will have diffilculty when start to study again after this long pause.
Having job to earn money or travel around the world after graduated from senior high school has own benefits for young people. They can get precious experience which they never had before. Taking Chelsea Olivia, an Indonesia artist as an example. She decided to break for her study after graduated from senior high school to focus on carrier. As a result, she got many jobs for shooting in some movies, commercials, and also got opportunity as a member of singer group. She earned much money from that and she rich with new experiences.
On the other hand, there is the disadvantage when people choose this way. It is because they will feel hard to start study and their motivation to learn will decrease. The most of them more likely to continue their job than comeback to university. The same instance, Chelsea Olivia. Firstly, she wanted only a year for pause from her study. Yet, after she passed that year, she told to public that she cancel her study again because she still busy on her job as an artist. Lastly, until now, she looks like hard to leave her job for study.
To sum up, people can choose to directly continue their study or pause for work or travel for a year. Besides they will have many experiences from the second option, they also have the drawback because it will feel hard to continue their study after this long break.
Here are some comment on grammatical errors.
Students who have finished their study have ccompleted high school ...
# Always try to as much as possible not to repeat the words in your topic question, as I understand this is one of the essays for IELTS writing test.
Secondly, start each paragraph with a topic sentence that will be developed in the next 2 to 3 sentences.
The words 'besides' in your concluding paragraph is not appropriate. Because the latter statement is not buttressing the former. Hence, I suggest you used the word 'However' which introduces the contrast between your initial statement and final one.
I hope this helps.
Good luck!
