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[TOEFL] A/D students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more successful


alice0209 12 / 18 12  
Sep 3, 2013   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the statement: students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more successful than those who do not.

The secret to success can be hard to access or can be acquired from ordinary life. Some people believe that students who keep their rooms neat and organized are more likely to be successful than those who are not, while others do not think it has much relevance. In my opinion, I believe that students who maintain their rooms well ordered are potentially to be more successful.

First, students who keep their rooms tidily generally reflect their good habits of being organized among many situations. Remaining things well in order is not only a good habit, but also an ability necessary in working and studying. It is required in many parts of studying, like arranging the information clearly and presenting the results strongly and coherently. Take my college roommate Julie for example. She always keeps her space simple and clean. She once asked me to give comments on her report about World War One history. I found her work extraordinary. All the details were well-presented and especially the complicated relationship between those countries was precisely demonstrated. I believed that this report is somehow a repercussion to her trait of being orderly.

Second, being tidy and structured shows self-discipline. It takes self-control and persistence to maintain trim space and many people just get lazy easily. If students can keep their places neat all the time, it means that they are being strict to themselves and they can not stand themselves being in a mess. This character would eventually permeate into the attitude toward studying and working. My mother always scolds my brother all the time for not clearing up his room. He just can not push himself to save his room from chaos. It turns out that his school life is a tragedy as well. He is not punctuate for class and does not care about the quality of his homework. Self-discipline is a seemingly easy, but hard-to-achieve personal character. It might all starts from cleaning up the room.

In conclusion, as one Chinese idiom goes- "you can always see through a person through the tiniest thing." Keeping rooms neat and organized is a good example. It not only proves students' capability of organizing, but also presents self-discipline. All these characters are the keys to success and definitely need cultivation from daily life.

p.s: I really care about the content of my essay. Please tell me if I made the clear point to the topic and whether my arguments and explanation are strong, thanks!!:)

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Sep 21, 2013   #2
It takes self-control and persistence to maintain trim spaceand many people just get lazy easily.

.... the first and the second parts are loosely connected. It disturbs your flow.

My motheralways[/b] scolds my brother all the timefor not clearing up his room.

.... "always"makes "all the time" redundant. Use only one of them!

She always keeps her space [b]simple and clean.

She always keeps her space clean and tidy.
quote=alice0209] I believed that this report is somehow a repercussionrepresentation ofto her trait of being orderly.[/quote].... you need to be careful when using synonyms. If you are not sure of their usage, avoid using them. They may give very different meaning to what you expect.

All these characterscharacteristics are the keys to success and definitely need cultivation from daily life.


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