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IELTS Task2 ; "that all students should learn a foreign language"


beyondmtk 9 / 16 4  
Feb 11, 2013   #1
Question;
Some people believe that all students should learn a foreign language. Others, however, argue that a student should not be required to learn a foreign language if he or she does not have talent for it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

==>
My answer;
At present, learning a foreign language is essential to success in this modern world.Yet at the same time, whether everyone needs to learn a foreign language has sparked much debate.Some people assert that every student should learn a foreign language.While others think that some people are not required to learn a second language if they do not need it.Personally , I am in favor of the former view.

It is obviously reasonable for some people to argue that every student should learn a second language because there are many advantages.First of all,learning a foreign language can make children become more open-minded and talented.For example,student can learn about colorful cultures and customs when they learn a foreign language.Therefore ,learning a second language is important for their development. In addition,learning a foreign language can boost the efficiency of communication because it can remove barrier of communication in their daily lives and works.Specifically,it is clearly more convenient when we travel to other countries or communicate with foreigners if we learn their language.There is another reason we should not overlook is there is plenty of evidence supporting that learning a foreign language can improve intelligence of students ,especially for young students.Hence, students can be beneficial from learning a second language because it is important for acquiring other knowledge.

It is worth pointing out that there are other arguments supporting that not all the students should learn a second language if they do not have certain talent.The main one may be it can be rather time-consuming to learn a second language if students do not have certain talent.As a consequence,some students can not study very well even they have spent much time on studying it.In spite of that ,research has proved that learning a foreign language could be very easy if we have correct methods .It is clear that all the people can learn a second language very well if we study in proper environment because we can learn their own language.

In conclusion ,I firmly believe that all the students should learn a foreign language because the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.At the same time,we should take actions,such as make students communicate more with native speakers, to improve the efficiency of learning foreign languages.

==>Hi,guys.
Could you please give me some suggestion and correction to this essay.I am sure there must be many "error" or "misuse".

Thank you very much indeed. :)

And, could you tell me the score of the essay it could get, if possible.(I guess it might be not very accurate ,but ,any suggestion is appreciated:))

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Zeisha 1 / 3  
Feb 11, 2013   #2
hey this is my essay about the foreign language debate-
Many a time, we are faced with an embarrasing situation in which we cannot converse with an individual of a different foreign origin, due to language barriers. It is clear that, therefore everyone needs to learn atleast one other different language apart from one's mother tongue. While on vacation to a new country, it is essential that we know it's native language. Hence, everyone should take up as a challenge, the art of learning a foreign lan
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Feb 11, 2013   #3
At present,lL earning a foreign language is essential tobe successful in this modern world.

... "At present" makes "modern world" sound redundant. Therefore you need to have either one of them.

Some people assert that every student should learn a foreign language.Whilewhile others think that some people are not required to learn a second language if they do not need it.

.... connect the two lines with "while"

First of all,learning a foreign language can make children become more open-minded andtalentedbetter exposed.

... I added "better exposed" because if children are literate with a foreign language their world gets expanded allowing more opportunities for exposure.

You write well and have good ideas too. However, it is better you support your reasons with a more specific examples. That's the easiest way to convince your examiner about your point and also to earn more marks :)
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Feb 12, 2013   #4
hai...

You have good points

I feel the part which you oppose the idea is little bit weak..

:somany people feel it is an overburden for the small children.

: it force them to spend more time in their studies and thei time for play will reduce. Which is important for the children.

All the best

Tessy


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