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Writing Feedback   Posts: 3

[TOEFL] Do students learn much when they work together on assigned projects.

Oct 5, 2017   #1
There is no doubt that projects play a key role in students' evaluation process at academic institutes such as schools or universities. Views differ when it comes to the issue of whether students should do projects collaboratively or not. Although some people may maintain the idea of working on projects separately, I firmly believe that students should work on projects together because not only will students get familiar with the key concept of cooperation which assists them in their future career, but also they will learn more about the subject of projects they are working on.

The first reason coming into my mind at first is that students will be trained to work collaboratively and this training will bring them a promising future. As a matter of fact, doing projects as a group will provide them with an opportunity to learn more about collaboration which will benefit them in future. To be more specific, a student, who does a project with the assistance of other students, fortifies his communicational skills throughout these projects. Since he already has interacted with others about the ways they can implement the project. Even after graduation, when he tends to find a job, he can join teams which do projects together. In this way, he will not have any troubles. Because he already has experienced such a situations which he is supposed to work with other people.

The second reason which should be stated here is that doing projects with friends, students will find an opportunity to learn more about the practical aspects of the course they work on project. Generally, the core idea of doing projects in a group is about getting familiar with the real-world applications of the courses which are offered in universities. Abstract concepts may not be completely understood until they come into reality. Moreover, studying textbooks all day long may disturbs students. As an illustration an electrical engineering student might know the concept of integral. However, he finds it useful when he knows that this concept is widely used in electrical circuits. Thus, by augmenting abstraction with reality, students will be flexible and innovative in coping with concepts which are merely presented in their textbooks.

To wrap it up, it is my deep belief that projects should be done in groups rather than individually due to the aforementioned reasons including improving the sense of collaboration, and also being informed about the practical aspects of a course. Who can overlook the sheer advantageous results which are gained when students learn how to do projects with the help of each other?
Holt [Contributor] 1543  
Oct 6, 2017   #2
Sajad, you forgot to include the original prompt with your posting. I am not able to assess nor score your essay without knowing what the full discussion requirements are. The original prompt is a standard requirement for all essays being posted at this forum for review. Please remember to attach the picture next time. I'll just give you a general essay assessment for now.

From what I can tell, you may have gone overboard with your opening prompt restatement as you launched into a full discussion immediately when only a paraphrasing was required. Your succeeding paragraphs do not properly focus on a single topic for discussion, which caused a highly confusing and underdeveloped discussion on your paragraphs.

By the way, there is a 5 sentence limitation per paragraph. You must develop your skill in comprehensive writing in order to achieve that. A comprehensively written sentence should not be mistaken for long sentences or run-on sentences. A comprehensive sentence delivers a clear discussion point using only a few words in well structured sentences and paragraphs.
OP sajastu  
Oct 11, 2017   #3
Thank you, I will make use of your gentle suggestion. I think my main problem is about developing bodies. I cannot articulate my ideas in concrete and beautiful sentences, even though I have a broad domain of vocabularies. Maybe I should work on the starting point of my sub-reasons. Do you have any suggestion in particular for body expansion?

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