Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS TASK 1: Students living in the UK gaining teacher training qualifications in 2005/6 and 2006/7


dina79 20 / 26 3  
Apr 8, 2016   #1
The table below shows the number of students living in the UK gaining teacher training qualifications in 2005/6 and 2006/7, and the proportion of male qualifiers.
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The given table data illustrates that the situation when Initial Teacher Training (ITT) qualifications separate two kinds such as women and men when it enhanced since the numerous students living in the UK, include the percentage of male qualifiers at 2005/6 to 2006/7. While the female a first rank in part of total teaching qualification obtained, the male include part of presentation have the smaller portion in Bed & other degress.

The women had the big proportion in total teaching qualification obtained and had increased level between 2005/6 and 2006/7 at 23.865 and 24,335 repetitively although the men had the inverse trend in similar part. Subsequently, the male was the low to realize in part Bed & other degress at 1,125 in 2006/7.

The percentage of men had the highest position at 28,6% in 2005/6 as the part Total teaching qualification since in the next year this part and PGCE drop to be realization. The figure lead in part of total at 31,945 as the total teaching qualification obtained.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 8, 2016   #2
Dina, I had a quick peek on all of your threads, particularly on TASK 1 IELTS. I notice that there was no one reminded you about the importance of making a paragraph for at least three sentences. You need to complete the way you present your report summary in your overview / introduction paragraph. A 2-sentence paragraph is considered weak by the examiner. I think this relates to many kinds of Language, not just English. Don't you remember that if it was in Indonesian Language, this becomes a problem too. Even our Indonesian teacher suggest us (Indonesian) to compose at least 4 sentences for a paragraph right? Hence, you are suggested to format your opening sentence for at least three sentences this way:

The table illustrates.... It is measured in.... While the female....

The first body of your essay also experiences the same problem. If you don't serve up the information from the chart in the proper way within the essay, you will badly damage your final grade in the essay. I suggest that you approach the first body in the following manner:

The woman had.... Although the men.... Subsequently, the male....

By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system. So the following still needs work.

The percentage of men.... The figure lead.... Finally....

As you can see Dina, I did some contributions regarding to a fundamental needs to compose a strong and solid paragraph. I hope you take my feedback as your biggest consideration in your next essay.

Keep writing and good luck! :)
liv_ryu 13 / 22 6  
Apr 8, 2016   #3
Hi Dina79,
Firstly, I would say that you paragraph is inappropriate enough since your words are not qualified. You have to provide at least 3 sentences in each body. It is unreliable if the examiner found that your introduction was longer than your body

Secondly, ensure that your essay is understandable for you before posting in essay forum

Thirdly, you have to play in coherence and cohesion, so your essay would be interesting
For example:the figure saw... orbefore increasing,...or in 2006/7 periode, the population of ...

Fourth, make an easy grouping so it helps you to understand your words


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1: Students living in the UK gaining teacher training qualifications in 2005/6 and 2006/7