tuition fee of college or university
IELTS WRITING Task 2: In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do you think the advantages that the government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?
In some nations, students have to allocate money for the tuition fee of college or university, while some governments spend money for their students' study careers. In my view, the government should make careful decisions when offering financial aid to students as this phenomenon's drawbacks outweigh its benefits.
It is undeniable that providing students with need-based scholarships creates a bunch of opportunities for students who cannot afford the exorbitant tuition cost. For instance, many states in the USA give financial support to poor citizens who are willing to pursue their careers in public universities. As a result, all students have their own chances to access with formal education in college or universities. However, it seems that the more money supply, the more laziness and dependence occurs on some students as they are fully ensured about their academics career by the governments. Those will become oblivious in their study or may spend the financial aid on other purposes. As a result, the authority may have wasted their budget investing in the wrong individuals.
Furthermore, governments' aids are not quite flexible, hence, they might not meet the students' requirements. For instance, Vietnam's national scholarship is stable at a thousand dollars per year which cannot fulfill the needs of every individual due to the inconstant cost of tuition fee as well as the basic studying materials of different majors.
In conclusion, some governments budget for the tuition fee of their students while in others countries, students have to pay it themselves. In my view, governments ought not to give financial aid to their students as the disadvantages overwhelm the opposite aspect.
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a bunch of opportunities
This is highly non-academic in reference. Avoid using too much everyday English words that are informal in presentation. Remember that you are still writing an academic paper, even if it is conversational in tone. Respect for the academician must be evident at all times.
pursue their careers
Do not confuse studies with a career. Studies refers to the learning of a student aligned with his interests. A career is an occupation or profession. You have been regularly mixing up these two references in your current presentation. The misuse of these words will definitely pull down your LR score.
This is a run on sentence representation. Your thoughts are tied together but not properly explained nor justified in a convincing manner. There are no proper and believable examples provided to support the claims made. Try to avoid compressed statements for clarity purposes.