Students from rural areas often find it difficult to access university education. Some people think that universities should make higher education easier for them to access. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the concern for the students who are living in remote areas has aroused the attention of the public because universities seem to be quite difficult for them to entre. Consequently, many people contend that actions should be taken to allow these students to access higher education easier. From my own perspective, however, I cannot totally agree with them.
Admittedly, students from remote areas are confronted with a range of difficulties to study in the universities. The long distance from their home to the campus and financial problems in the family, etc., are all likely to become the stumbling stock on the way to an outstanding university or even force them to drop out of school. Undoubtedly, it is unfair for these youngsters to be unable to receive the education that they should have received. Therefore, it is the university that should be the first to shoulder the responsibility to provide equal rights to let all youngsters study in the scenic campus.
However, measures seem unpractical when we try to make our thoughts come true. In the first place, due to the limited budget, universities are very unlikely to provide all students whose homes are far away from campus with decent accommodation. It is also unrealistic to move or rebuild the campus to rural areas because of inconvenience and the lack of resources. In the second place, given that the universities lower the entrance index for students from countryside, it is apparent to be unfair for those students in urban areas who are exposed to much more fierce competition.
To sum up, although it is necessary for universities to take measures to help more rural students to receive tertiary education, they are most likely to face some dilemma when deciding to do so. Therefore, it is highly suggested that any action should be judged and weighed in order to ensure every student, no matter from rural areas or urban areas, to be able to enjoy the equal rights and opportunities.
This essay is written to prepare for my IELTS exam. Please help me to correct it and give some recommendations. Thanks a lot!
In recent years, the concern for the students who are living in remote areas has aroused the attention of the public because universities seem to be quite difficult for them to
entreenter .
ConsequentlyAs a result, many people contend that actions should be taken to allow these students to access higher education
easier.more easily.Admittedly, students from remote areas are confronted with a range of difficulties to study in the universities. The long distance from their home to the campus and financial problems in the family, etc., are all likely to become the stumbling stock on the way to an outstanding university or even force them to drop out of school.
... this is too lengthy :( Make shorter sentences - it would surely improve clarity and presentation.
stumbling stock
"stumbling block" is the right form.
attention of the public
public attention
to receive the education that they should have received
to continue their education which they are deserved for them.
, etc.,
and so on or and etc (don't forget preposition and
Therefore, it is the university that should be the first to shoulder the responsibility to provide equal rights to let all youngsters
Therefore, the university should perform the required actions to provide the availability of universities for young rural students
to take measures
To use strategies
it is highly suggested
It is highly recommended
every student
all students
