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students' scores and subject assessments - A TOEFL retouches and assignments


elwinOUTOFMIND 1 / 1  
Jul 22, 2011   #1
Title:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Teachers definitely play a vital role in teaching their students new knowledge as well as guiding them to face the society. Undoubtedly, teachers should make their views about knowledge in the textbook known to students. Then, what about their social or political views, also made known to students? Some people may disagree with this opinion, but I strongly support it.

Nowadays, teachers and parents concern too much about students' scores and subject assessments. Gradually, Chinese educational system has been more and more oriented to examinations instead of mental, physical and several other kinds of developments. As a result, the students only know about their study and homework. What they are good at is reading textbooks. It is really a tragedy. However, all of these things can be changed: Teachers can share their own social, political and other views with their students. They can even launch some debates to let the students argue with their opinions on things other than textbooks. This method of teaching can effectively develop students in all-around aspects.

Now is the information age. Information, news, activities, movements, etc, all kinds of things that you can imagine is publicly displayed on the Internet, magazines, newspapers, TVs. Since information is public, any people can read, and even comment or discuss with others, so are the students! Then how can teachers and parents make sure that their kids are not reading other people's wrong ideas? How can they know if their kids would do just as those negative people do? Teachers and parents really should do something to prevent this from happening. But what can they do? For teachers, they can make their social and political views known to students in the classroom. And they can listen to student's opinions and discuss if it is right or wrong, positive or negative. Therefore, in this way, teachers can actually guide the students to think and behave properly and positively to the society.

All in all, I support the idea of teachers' making their social and political opinions known to students. This is comparatively helpful and instructive to students' all-around development.

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i am a chinese high school student and is going to take the TOEFL test in 7/31. i would really thank u if u can share ur opinion about my essay with me. :)

btw this is my email address (also MSN): elwin.v@live.com

muge 5 / 12  
Jul 22, 2011   #2
As a result, the students only know about their study and homework. What they are good at is reading textbooks. It is really a tragedy.

I think it is better to use something else instead of really.. i would prefer to write in this way;
As a result, the students can only obtain limited knowledge which are exist in their text books. It is a very tragic situation for students and for their futures.

And they can listen to students' opinions and discuss if it is right or wrong, positive or negative.

i think you are very good in writing..

if you also turn my essays i would be appreciate :)
regards:)
hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 23, 2011   #3
the first paragraph, you should present some reasons you support
the second paragraph, you tend to focus on china only. This is not appropriate for an international test like toefl
That is my opinion :d
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 25, 2011   #4
As I read the introduction, I notice that you have a high level of proficiency in English. The only tricky part is at the end of that intro:

Then, what about their social or political views, also made known to students? Some people may disagree with this opinion, but I strongly support it. You have not yet given them an opinion to disagree with!

Then, what about their social or political views -- should these also be made known to students? I think they should. Some people may disagree with this opinion, but I strongly support it because _______________________________ (In a few words, sum up the reason for your opinion).

Gradually, the Chinese educational...

develop students in a well-rounded way.

I'll move this apostrophe:
And they can listen to students' opinions and discuss whether they are right or wrong, positive or negative.

Therefore, in this way, teachers can actually guide the students to think and behave properly and positively to the society.---And sometimes the students guide the teacher, too! Thanks for sharing this great essay!


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