Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on more important subjects.
Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people argue that students should focus on learning about food. However, this idea was opposed by those who suppose food is not considered as a main subject and encourage students to study other subjects. Personally, I agree with the latter viewpoint because food is such a broad subject for kids to learn throughout the school term.
To some extent, encouraging students to study the science of food is reasonable. Firstly, food is a necessity in our lives, no one can survive without it. Therefore, many individuals believe learning about food would be useful for children and assist them in becoming independent people. Next, cooking food also fosters the youngster's creativity and other soft skills. Based on those public opinions, I must admit that food plays an significant role in life, but I am still doubtful whether students should focus on it instead of studying other subjects.
With the second argument, people think pupils should spend time on more critical subjects rather than food. They suppose the primary subjects are Math, Literature, Physics, Chemistry, etc. Food is such a wide topic that no one can cover through limited time at school, so it should be an optional course that students can choose to take. Furthermore, today's children can learn about food in a variety of ways, such as from their parents' dishes or via the Internet. As a result, children should devote time to learning subjects that they would be unable to learn outside of school. Based on what has been said so far, I totally agree with this argument, as pupils can learn about food outside of school hours.
In conclusion, there are two opposing angles on whether students should spend time learning about food or other subjects at school. However, I believe that pupils should concentrate on essential courses at school and use their free time studying about food.
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The prompt restatement is incomplete as it does not refer to the other point of discussion in the public point of view. The writer did not indicate that the point of view is also focused on learning how to prepare food, not just learning about food. Those are 2 different areas of food study / interest. He also said that the opposing view "supposes" something, when the original presentation indicates that it is a factual opinion for them. So there are 2 errors in this instance:
- Missing one public opinion reason
- Incorrect supporting point of view presentation
These combined errors will result in a less than stellar task accuracy score.
The student uses an acceptable discussion format but fails to build properly on the explanation of his personal opinion regarding each public point of view. He also uses the group pronoun "our" indicating a personal opinion. The personal opinion should only be singular in indication, it can never be a group pronoun presentation as he is not allowed to speak for a group of people in his presentation.
His opinion is only a single statement of (dis)agreement in every reasoning paragraph, which does not really fully explain how his opinion came about in relation to the public discussion. So his personal opinion is considered under developed every time and will not add to the scoring consideration for the overall score.
Since the exam taker failed to spot the aforementioned errors in his writing, due to his lack of editing prior to grading submission, his overwriting of the text, beyond the 300 word count was not useful to his cause. Rather than improving his work, he just heightened the error potential and subsequent scoring deductions of his essay.
I think the first body paragraph, he/she ought to clarify the advantages, then the disadvantages in the second body paragraph , and give opinion in the third paragraph. By the way, It is my own opinion .