Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Can students study whatever they want or science and technology is a must?


just_writer 24 / 42 5  
Oct 26, 2017   #1
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


science is not everything in this world



While there are people who say it is important for college graduates to learn different subjects in university, there are people who believe that they only need courses that proved to be effective for their future. There two points of views shall be discussed, in addition to my personal ideas on the subject.

Firstly, there are people that believe when a student enters to the university must follow his/her dreams. It means that they are free to choose their major and it does not matter which one it is going to be because that would guarantee success in the future. For example, I know classmates that came to software engineering major just because their parents made them to. Most of them quit after the third semester.

Secondly, some people believe that in today's world, science and technology have the most opportunity to make money, so students should follow this path to become successful. They say that students can follow other subjects as a hobby. For example, one of my friends that were a fantastic painter studied civil engineering and also continues his patio in art. He is a successful engineer who recently started an exhibition of his paintings.

Lastly, in my opinion, people should learn what they love, because the learning process is not easy, there are a lot of obstacles in the way that a person can overcome, if and only if he/she loves his major. For example, there was a lot of coding in our major (software engineering) which is not easy and requires love and patience. I think the main reason that people quit was that they could not hold the pressure, they were not happy.

In conclusion, two different points of views were discussed whether students should continue their education in what they want or it is science and technology which is important. In my opinion, while science can bring a lot of money for one, they money does not guarantee happiness.

(329 Words)
pier 11 / 37 9  
Oct 26, 2017   #2
Hi @just_writer,
If you have switched the third and second paragraph place, your essay sounds much better.
there are ... follow his/her dreams.->there are people who believe a student must follow his/her dreams when enters to the university.
your example in the fourth paragraph is not complete and the last sentence is faulty.
in what they want -> in the subject they want.
Hope these are helpful.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Oct 26, 2017   #3
I do not know if you realize this or not but you discussed only one point of view in the two paragraphs. Both your presentations pertain to justifying the fact that students should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, and what the results of those opinions are. You presented two varying results for the same topic (study subjects useful in the future) as one positive and one negative. The correct format for this discussion is:

2nd Paragraph - Students study whatever they like (not what their parents told them to).
3rd Paragraph - Students study only subjects useful in the future.
4th Paragraph - Your opinion.

If you notice, having students study what their parents tell them to in college, and having them study only subjects that will be useful in the future follow the same discussion vein. Both require the students to not study what they like but what others deem more important for their professional future. The mistake in the discussion extends all the way to your concluding paragraph. So these mistakes will cost you a passing score with this essay. It will fail due to the improper discussion presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / Can students study whatever they want or science and technology is a must?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳