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Students should take priority to living away from home than sharing place with their parents

thanhdo 1 / -  
Mar 2, 2017   #1
Topic: It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents.Do you agree or disagree?

living-away student

There is an opinion that students should take priority to living away from home than sharing place with their parents.I completely agree with this idea for several reasons.

Firstly,staying away from home means changing the living environment,which encourages the independence of students.Due to the lack of parental intervention,tertiary students have to deliver importants decisions themselves in tough time,by which contributes to their maturity and self-control.

Secondly,some essential skills such as problem-solving skills are improved as well.The chance of making aquantance with others can enable students to build their social and interpersonal skills,some of which are vital to their future careers.Participating in extracurricular activities taken place in dormitory,or communicating with students from various backgrounds will definitely sharpen their soft skills and enhance their cultural sensitivity.

In conclusion,living-away students have a variety of benefits which the family-oriented students hardly gains.
SiiaBirill 3 / 11 4  
Mar 2, 2017   #2
Hello, i'm here to give some assistance :)
As far as I know essay must be no more then 300. But no less 200, if i'm not mistaken) So, you need to develop your arguments more.

You should add examples for each state agree or disagre, it will support your ideas more.
Also, it is nessesary to add linking words as : There is onother side of the issue, in contrast with the idea that ,a further convincing argument, and so on...

You may find example essays in internet and see how they operate with linking word.
In you conclusion, you should again paraphrase the topic subject and tell you final opinion)

Hope, i helped you at list a bit ^_^
ChiObi 2 / 8 1  
Mar 2, 2017   #3

"Gaining admission into college could be one of the happiest moments of any student, it's like taking the next big step. Exploring new challenges, meeting new friends could be all very endearing and the big decision to stay far or close to your parents is all a matter of choice. Staying with your parents could be all exciting and close knowing they will always be there but I completely agree to the idea that staying far away is a better choice."

That's just a sample of a first paragraph. Your first paragraphs in an essay under the IELTS has to be a strong starting point.

I would advice u go read up on IELTS booklets.it has tips to answering all questions in every section.trust me the British council doesn't repeat questions. I wrote mine last month. Just read and do ur best.

I hope this helps
Maitouyen282 9 / 26 3  
Mar 2, 2017   #4
Hi! I am studying Ielts too. So have some advice. Fristy , in this prompt , do not say you completely agree.
Because it will not score you higher .Instead tbat say in the introductory. The sentence is justified .

And then pharapgh 1 give the idea why do you agree. Why do you not agree ad then third paragragh give your oppinion. Your paragragh 1 and 2 is the same .

I mean it such as parapgh 1 is a big sentence and paragh 2 is a example . If in your way , paragh 1 should be more skills.
Paragph 2 should be mature. Tr to use word consequently , therfore or so .you fer more grammar.It will make you have better score
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,560 4442  
Mar 3, 2017   #5
Do, since this essay clearly asks you to agree or disagree with the opinion provided, you must clearly indicate that you are in agreement with the proposal by saying "I agree with this belief for a number of reasons which will be discussed shortly." Speaking of which, you are severely under the minimum 250 word count requirement, which will have a severe negative effect on your final score Always try to write the minimum number in order to at least get a decent task accuracy mark. While your discussion is sound and really carries weight, the fact that you are under the word count means that there could have been further development and justification for your belief in the statement. That is why I do not think that this essay can score any more than a 4 in an actual setting.
ylin0233 3 / 10  
Mar 3, 2017   #6

I think you will get a better score with 150 more words than the required minimum words.
ainunazwaria 10 / 18 5  
Mar 3, 2017   #7
Hai @thanhdo

I have several comments about your writing.

Firstly, you write too short essay for writing task 2. You don't even write up to 150 words and it will lower your task achievement. Writing task 2 on IELTS requires the candidate to compose at least 250 words in an essay. Then, you should put some space after punctuation marks.

Your second paragraph also too short (only consisted of 2 sentences). To make a good essay, it will be better to add an example on each paragraph (in this case are your second and third body paragraphs). Then, you should discuss that example in the next sentence.

Last but not least, you cannot only write one sentence in your conclusion. Put some additional explanation to make it more clearly.

I hope it can be useful.

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