Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 9, 2009   #1
please check for my mistakes, thank so much

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

In some countries, there is a trend that students after completing high school take an off year for traveling or working before beginning studies at university. Some people wonder that whether this trend brings benefits for young people or not. In this essay, I will analyze advantages as well as disadvantages of this trend.

On the one side, taking an off year between finishing high school and beginning university brings some benefit for students. First of all, students who are in good economics condition have chance to reduce tress by traveling as well as to ear money by getting jobs for poor students. After a long study time, it is really good for students to take a rest. The rich students can taking some trips to eliminate anxiety from studies, and the students who have financial difficulty have time to earn money for study costs when they attend university. In addition, young people have good opportunities to experience real life. When they are traveling different places, they can improve their knowledge and experience about the life such as about cultures, lifestyles. For students who get a job they can apply their theoretical knowledge into practices, get experience about working environments, working lifestyles, which is very useful for their future.

On the other side, when young people taking a year for traveling or working may have to meet many difficulties to come back studies. In fact, there are many students who take a job to earn money for university study costs lose university; because, after a working year, they are interested in earning money than attending university. Not only poor students, rich students also find difficult to adapt to studying environment. Although rich students are unlikely to lose university like poor students, they have to spend long time to get accustomed to university environment.

In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks for young people when they decide to take a year between graduating high school and beginning university for working or traveling.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Oct 9, 2009   #2
For Students who get a job they can apply their theoretical knowledge...

I see some typos in that 2nd paragraph.

many difficulties when returning to the process of study . to come back studies.

This is great, because it is succinct and clear. Can you think of one main truth that you reveal in this essay and write a sentence about it in the conclusion? A principle that is at work, some words of wisdom about the issue... what wuld you tell a student who was trying to decide whether to take time off or not. Add something to that conclusion, something that lets the reader know you a little bit.
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 9, 2009   #3
many thanks to you, EF_Kevin.
to be honest, i cannot decided whether taking a breaking between high school and university is good or not. because, in my own country, students often finish high school in may, and they also take the university entrance exam in july. there is no break. although i love having this break, i have never experienced thus cannot whether it is good or not?

could u help me make a conclusion better? thank so much


Home / Writing Feedback / students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling