please give me feedback of my writing in order to enhance vocabularies, idea and grammar. thanks for your help
Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community.
Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.
University is a place where adult students spend their half time to study. For some people, they prefer living university dormitories which offer more opportunities to make friends. For some others, they argue that apartments in the community have an ideal location, which is mostly found in commercial activities. However, I would support that university dormitories are more comforting, convenient, and peaceful as a place to live.
Living in apartment seems to be luxury because it has an exclusivity which can only be owned by some richest people so that they are more likely to live there in order to be seen as prestige. For instance, some students from well-prosperous family tend to make a friendship with matured ones and they think this leads to more merits. As a consequence, there is no doubt that this is paramount for them to live in apartment.
On the other hand, there seem to obtain more advantages to live in university dormitories. First, it opens an opportunity for students to make a relationship with whomever which gives them much time to study together and help an academic obstacle when they get. For example, students can discuss about some lessons when they have not understood yet in the class. Next, this helps the majority of students to learn culture and language especially for international students. As we knew that language is habit so that it enables them to practice more in order to be able to speak fluently. Not only this, living in university dormitories is less cost so as they can allocate their money to other needs such buying books.
In the light of these facts, even though living in apartments is more exclusive and prestigious for some people, but I strongly believe that living in university dormitories is more useful, helpful, and comfortable for some others.
Aloha Bung Jawa, let me share my thoughts for your essay:
An University(use article for singular countable noun) is a place where adult ...
For some people, they prefer living in university dormitories which offeroffering(reducing adjective clause) more opportunities to make friendssocialize to others . For some others, they argue that apartments in the community have an ideal location, which is mostly found in commercial activities.
... university dormitories are morecomfortingcomfortable , convenient, and ...
Living in an apartment seems to be luxury [...] is paramount for them to live in apartment.
overall, I think your reasons about the benefits living in apartments still needs stronger explanations
First, it opens an opportunity for students to make a relationship with whomever which...(please make a sentence straight to the point) .
For example, students can discuss about some lessons ...students can discuss about lessons that they less understand.
As we knewit goes without saying that language is habit so that it ...
Not only thisin addition to, , living in university dormitories is ...
I hope it can be helpful
Hi Bung Jawa.
Welcome to Essay Forum.
I am delighted to tell that you have been the right medium to improve your writing skill. Let me help you to finalize this. Meet my notes and deal with them.
For some people, IT IS CONSIDERED BY SOME THAT THE STUDENTS they prefer living university dormitories which offer OFFERING more opportunities to make friendsHIP WITH OTHERS. For some others HOWEVER, they ANOTHER OPINION argue STATES that apartments (...) have an ideal location, which is BEING mostly found in commercial activities. However IN MY POINT OF VIEW, I would support that university dormitories are THE DORMITORY OF UNIVERSITY IS more comforting , convenient, and peaceful ...
Living in THE apartment seems to beluxury LUXURIOUS because it has (...) owned by some richest people so that they ...
For instance, some students from A well-prosperous family tend t...
... is paramount for them to live in THE apartment.
On the other hand, there seemS to obtain more advantages to WHEN THE STUDENTS live in THE university dormitories.
For example, students can discuss about some lessons when ...
Nex FOLLOWING THAT, this THIS SITUATION helps the majority of students to learn A culture and language especially for THE international students. As we knew KNOW that language is A habit so that it enables ASKS them to practice more ...
Not only this IN ADDITION, living in THE university dormitories is ...
Please, you harness proper linking words.You tended to put adverbs as the linkers.
In the light of these facts, THE AFOREMENTIONED EVIDENCE REVIEWS THAT even though ALTHOUGH living in THE apartments is more (...) for some people, but I strongly believe that living in THE university dormitories is ...
I believe you will master this. You only need practice more and more.
GOOD LUCK :D
Just a little correction, hope this helps.
... they prefer living at university dormitories ...
... be owned by some richest wealthy people so ...
As we knew know that language is ...
Not only this in addition, living in university dormitories ...
