IELTS TASK 2 : Study abroad (advantages and disadvantages)

Topic : discuss advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad

It is an irresistible trend that nowadays, co-operation between eastern countries and western countries is becoming stronger and stronger, creating hundreds of studying abroad opportunity to eastern students. However as coin has two sides, this situation brings both benefits and drawbacks.

Studying abroad brings a number of advantages. The most obvious advantage is that it could possibly broaden our mind. By studying overseas, students could have many chances to interact with many people from different backgrounds and culture, experience the completely contrasting method of studying and working from Westerners. This would in turn enhances not only their theoretical knowledge but also their practical knowledge, playing a prominent role in their future careers. Furthermore, studying overseas encourages people to perfect themselves. Instead of enjoying the comfort of living in their house, many courageous students decide to study in different foreign countries where they have to organize their lives independently, for instance, cooking on their own or working hard for single pennies. Accordingly, students will be equipped with many valuable qualities such as independence, initiative and especially adaptation, which would perfectly vital for overcoming numerous challenges in their lives.

Studying abroad also has some disadvantages. The main drawback of it is, in my opinion, imposes financial burden on students's families. According to recent research, more than 50% of the families have to borrow large bank loans to afford for students' tuition fees. This means money expected to be spent for families's absolute necessity is now invested in student tertiary education without being guaranteed for the efficiency. Another disadvantage is that studying abroad leads to the situation in which students have to separate from the families, their friends and their lover, thus ruining the their relationship as a result of the enforced distancing. Many students drop out from foreign university to come back home due to inresistance of homesickness.

To conclude, I think studying overseas brings both advantages and disadvantages. However all of disadvantages could be overcome if students made a precise analysis before deciding whether to study overseas or not.

Hi,

I noted down some grammatical problems that you may want to change:


I don't really see how the first part of the sentence can link with the second part. Anyway, to make the sentence more succinct you can just shorten it by saying "stronger cooperation between... creates ..."


I think you can just say foreign countries to avoid redundancy


You may want to change 'accordingly' to another linking word like 'As such', because 'accordingly' means something like 'in a suitable way'.

for overcoming--> to overcome


Overall, I think your essay is quite interesting. Do proofread after writing to avoid grammatical mistakes though, and you will be fine :) All the best!

Comments:

- Grammatical mistakes are quite visible, proving you not to have proofread. This field of errors includes many peculiar frames:
(1) spelling mistakes ("inresistance"),
(2) noun use ("coin"--which should be coins or a coin),
(3) possessives ("students's," "families's"),
(4) verb conflicts ("By studying overseas, students could have many chances..."--notice the word 'could' be used regardless of talking presently...),
(5) struggling structure ("would perfectly vital for overcoming"--notice the amiss "be" verb and the use of the preposition "for" and the gerund "overcoming"--or the sentence "The main drawback of it is, in my opinion, imposes financial burden on students's families."--noticing how the verb "be" is stated before "imposes", this sentence falls under two categories: tense conflict and struggling structure...)...

- Judging the meaning phase alone, your introduction is not quite tempting. It has a rather common approach to the problem, which seems to dry out fast.

- Your second paragraph, mentioning the advantages of studying abroad, should be divided by two. Two reasons are separately stated, and thus are inconceivable to be joint.

- Your third paragraph, the use of words is peculiar. Homesickness is not the irresistibleness, but homesickness is indispensable. It occurs oftentimes that people miss their hometown, their loved ones once being far away. Yet some can overcome such ordeals. Thus why can you use the word "irresistibility" or "irresistibleness"? (I believe this is what inresistance stands for?!)

- Your conclusion is relatively dried out. The speech is not compelling nor powerful enough to ensure readers' interest and lasting impression. The outlines are not adequate. Try to lengthen your conclusion telling more about the impacts that studying abroad brings about our lives.

- Anyhow, I anticipate your better work in the long run.