Hi friends, Could you read my essay and give me some feedback, please !
Thank you before,
Question : Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most of people think that to get a good job no need to study at formal educations, but they said that "we can study from the nearest environment and continue to always improve our skills that were already we got before today". Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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Answer :
Firstly, This issue makes most of students have negative thinking to do not want to study at formal educations. Now can you see it in our around so many children in under age have done worked as singing beggar, shoes polisher, porter, etc. However, they have been able to work to get money for themselves and their parents, but it is not good for their future. For example, although now are they so happy and proud with themselves, but in future will they feel that everyone does not care with them who do not study at formal educations and get more knowledge, and they also will be seen by everyone just with eye not eyes. If behavior which is like it just let, how a country can be advanced country. Furthermore, do not do anything that can give negative effects for learner as generation of our nation.
Secondly, can you imagine if you have children, and they do not want to take study at formal educations. What will you do? If I were you I will force my children to study at formal educations minimal Senior High School that they are not very difficult to get a job and do not seen with eye but eyes. For example, everyone always needs job to keep their life, but how can they get job if they do not have diploma because now all of companies always ask a diploma if there someone wants to receive by company that is they want. So, it makes clear that study is very useful to search a job.
You should at least have 4 paras in your essay for this task. Your essay should contain an introduction, two body paras (at least two) and a conclusion. If you follow the above essay structure you would surely be in trouble. In this task, they don't expect you to write a direct answer, but to present your opinion in a essay format which is strong enough to convince the reader that your opinion is justifiable.
